Wednesday, January 12, 2011
A Wednesday Night & I'm Alright
Jan 12 2011. Hello friends, its just about to become Thursday here & I have not written in the blog in quite a while. I am not fired up or greatly inspired to write a lot at the moment, but I do have something I can write about because it was the one thing on my mind until a few moments ago. Spirituality & sobriety in my life are working wonders because I am developing an awareness of when I am not thinking of the right things, which if left untouched can cause me not to feel the right way to be spiritual. So something crossed my mind that I wrote as my status, because as quickly as a distressing thought came the Serenity afterwards pushed it back out of my mind. My thoughts were something like this... Just one of those night where you notice what's not there in your life, who didn't call, or what you can't have.. The difference this night is I am sober, as experiences grow I have become more spiritual & this night I am okay. No longer a victim to self destruction. Instead of hanging on what is not here & now, I can remember what is great that is & be grateful for all I Have, I Am, & Can Be For Others. ♥ Dreams ♥ Good Night. Good Morning... <3 Jimmy
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Every Day Is My New Year
Jan 01 2011. Well it's been a few weeks since I've written in this blog, technically a year has passed because last night was New Years Eve. I hope that all of you had a safe & happy evening. Life has been a little jumbled for me lately but I am managing to do just fine as long as I remember to try & handle things One Day At A Time. Since this is the first day of the New Year 2011, I tried to treat today that exact same way, as just another day to live on in Sobriety & Spiritual Growth. Big days like this don't happen every day however & it was hard not to think about the future & things that may be or not be in the year to come. One thing I can be glad that is not a part of my 2011 thusfar is drugs & alcohol, which in my past tore my life & all that is worth living for out of my heart, mind & body. Many of the things that haunted my past & ruled my very existance through fear are not a part of my life today. So in a way this is a New Year Without New Fears. So many of my friends & the rest of the world take time to chose resolutions during the New Year. Things they are going to give up, begin doing, or change about their lives. Everything from diets to church down to behaviors & habits. In recovery I am learning to change many things about my life but unlike the rest of the world around me, I don't need a holiday or New Year to do so. The motivation behind me making changes in my life today comes from the horrors of my years past. All of those mistakes, pain, fear & difficulties I lived through & forced my friends & family to live through, they compile to form a 'New Year or Holiday' that begins each day I wake up with a beating heart. Every day of my life begins the rest of my existance & may be my last opportunity to do things right for a change, so to me everyday is my New Years Day.
In my active addiction & alcoholism I was incapable of being a better person. The cloud caused from substances took away my abilities to change my behaviors & ways, not only that but the disease of alcoholism untreated in my life made it impossible to survive at that time without those substances. Everything I experienced & all the wrongs I've commited were a necessary part of me reaching that most painful moment in my life, that life was no longer worthwhile to me. It was at that moment that I began a 'New Year', no better yet a 'New Me'. The help that came from countless people after that final decision to get out of the drivers seat & let something other than my alcoholism run my life, that help gave me another chance at things, one I am grateful for still to this day. Tomorrow is not gauranteed & my past is filled with an alcoholic frenzy of chaos & a lonesome void, but today is something I do have. When I awake each day my New Year begins. I have an opportunity to change things about my life that could use improvement, to do more for others around me, and to overall be a better person & instrument of my Higher Power that I may do good for this world & for myself rather then destroy it one minute at a time. If asked if I could see this perspective in the begin of my Sober journey I would honestly have to say "No I did not", but I do see it today. Every morning I pray to my creator for strength & guidance to do better with myself than any day I've lived before, so that I may impact those around me in a positive light. So far I have not been let down, even on my worst of days sober I have done more for myself & this world I live in than in any of my best days during active addiction. When I clear my mind over a cup of coffee I often think, what is right, what can I handle to do different or better today & how can it help my life or someone else's move in a positive direction. This is how I get the blessing of living each day as a New Year in my life. When you hold onto that simple truth, That All We Have is Today & We Should Make The Best Of It & Ourselves, then we are destined to succeed at doing great things during that day. Even when we fall short of our envisioned goals, we are miles ahead of where we would have been without that true & spiritual realization. So I challange all who read this, all who think they can handle living above the bar of the rest of society, because we all can raise that bar together... Let us all awake each day, as New Years Day in our lives, in the world around us, and let us all be our absolute best that we can, taking tomorrow as a gift & blessing that is an opportunity to improve even further and being thankful for all that has gotten us to where we are today. Even when we are sad, at a loss, crushed or just bitter, we have so much to be thankful for.. that 'so much' is life to be lived today. Live it to it's potential, not to selfishly seek out all that we want, but to selfishly improve ourselves so that we may be of maximum service to any who call out to us for help one day. This is the stuff dreams are made of.. I'm living that dream. Join me this year, In day after day of New Years Days. Good Morning.. Good Night.. <3 Jimmy
In my active addiction & alcoholism I was incapable of being a better person. The cloud caused from substances took away my abilities to change my behaviors & ways, not only that but the disease of alcoholism untreated in my life made it impossible to survive at that time without those substances. Everything I experienced & all the wrongs I've commited were a necessary part of me reaching that most painful moment in my life, that life was no longer worthwhile to me. It was at that moment that I began a 'New Year', no better yet a 'New Me'. The help that came from countless people after that final decision to get out of the drivers seat & let something other than my alcoholism run my life, that help gave me another chance at things, one I am grateful for still to this day. Tomorrow is not gauranteed & my past is filled with an alcoholic frenzy of chaos & a lonesome void, but today is something I do have. When I awake each day my New Year begins. I have an opportunity to change things about my life that could use improvement, to do more for others around me, and to overall be a better person & instrument of my Higher Power that I may do good for this world & for myself rather then destroy it one minute at a time. If asked if I could see this perspective in the begin of my Sober journey I would honestly have to say "No I did not", but I do see it today. Every morning I pray to my creator for strength & guidance to do better with myself than any day I've lived before, so that I may impact those around me in a positive light. So far I have not been let down, even on my worst of days sober I have done more for myself & this world I live in than in any of my best days during active addiction. When I clear my mind over a cup of coffee I often think, what is right, what can I handle to do different or better today & how can it help my life or someone else's move in a positive direction. This is how I get the blessing of living each day as a New Year in my life. When you hold onto that simple truth, That All We Have is Today & We Should Make The Best Of It & Ourselves, then we are destined to succeed at doing great things during that day. Even when we fall short of our envisioned goals, we are miles ahead of where we would have been without that true & spiritual realization. So I challange all who read this, all who think they can handle living above the bar of the rest of society, because we all can raise that bar together... Let us all awake each day, as New Years Day in our lives, in the world around us, and let us all be our absolute best that we can, taking tomorrow as a gift & blessing that is an opportunity to improve even further and being thankful for all that has gotten us to where we are today. Even when we are sad, at a loss, crushed or just bitter, we have so much to be thankful for.. that 'so much' is life to be lived today. Live it to it's potential, not to selfishly seek out all that we want, but to selfishly improve ourselves so that we may be of maximum service to any who call out to us for help one day. This is the stuff dreams are made of.. I'm living that dream. Join me this year, In day after day of New Years Days. Good Morning.. Good Night.. <3 Jimmy
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