Taking Inventory

October 23. Hello friends. Today was a unique day, old thinking & behaviors would call it a bad day but it wasn't. I spent the day helping my mom clean out my Grandmother's storage. It was a disgusting mess due to my cousin stacking stuff up in there lazily for months. I sometimes catch myself judging him unfairly, when I have my own faults & defects unattended. I learn more everyday not to take other's inventory, but instead to look at my own & where my part lies. In this instance the focus did not need to be on my cousin's slippage, but my own ability to be of service to my grandmother & clean her property up. We did a fantastic job, despite my at some times bad attitude, all ended well & the work got done. It took a few good hours of carrying things out & even hurting my back carrying some things too heavy for me. That is not to say "poor me" or seek apathy, but to show my pride would not allow me to ask for help, ego being driven by disgust. Afterwards mom & I went home to shower & scrub up, then went with dad for dinner & to get a phone fixed. Later I got dropped off at my homegroup & got a ride home from my sponsor. The topic was Living Life on Life's Terms.

From that topic I had a song stuck in my head, playing over and over. Its a song I think of in positive mindsets. I got really positive news today also about my business, that I will share when I know specifics in my course of action. For now I would like to talk about inventory though. Like a business, taking another store's inventory won't do my business any good. In the same light, taking another person's inventory will not help me or them. It will only leave my life uncounted for & myself sick spiritually. I have to take my own inventory when trying to grow spiritually, not others. Its because of this inward focus that the 12 Step programs are often called selfish. In the same paradox the program says we must help others in order to stay on top of our own inventory. It's this fine line that I was somehow able to walk today, despite the few times I fell off the spiritual beam.

Through constant practice, help from others, and learning from both ours & their mistakes we can get better at this inventory process of our lives. Its never complete as each day & situation changes, but my higher power & many other's promises more will be revealed in time. I hope one day we can all as a society & community learn to focus our inventories inward, starting with me. We can all achieve happiness & peace through these spiritual tools.. One day at a time. Good Night. Good Morning... <3 Jimmy