Grateful Spirits

November 8 2010. Hello all good people of the world. I had a fantastic day, one worthy of writing about for sure. If I seem to gloat at all during these next few sentences, ignore that tone, I am rather trying to express the gratitude for all those in my life that have helped me do these amazing things & my Higher Power for making them all a part of it with me. I started my Sunday off with a cup of coffee & no cigarettes. Half of the edge from the morning start gone, my parents & I headed out to the store to get smokes first, then off to town to negotiate some business deals for my jewelry business. I have had some major purchase moves planned through the help of my parents to really improve my inventory greatly in time for the big opening of the new 7 day a week location. Our first visit produced nothing material, a big stone wall if you will in a potential partnership for body jewelry I had hoped to shake hands on. I did however sell a ring to another jeweler friend & increased my buying money for the day by a little over a hundred dollars. A wasted trip had turned into an opportunity afterall. A few calculated phone calls produced some comforting imformation about the opening dates & schedules, and a second call set up an appointment later on in the day to go purchase some large amounts of fine jewelry inventory. It was a nice feeling to be potentially buying good inventory instead of the 'get by' trendy items I've had to function with in the past months. A few hours to kill we went off to handle other things & I attempted to hit a card game for an hour, which was more like 30 mins of relaxation, watching the clock for pickup time to make the appointment. We met the guy at that time & were in for a treat, not only did I get a ton of stuff I wanted at my price, I got extra for less than my price began at. Bags in hand we moved on in our evening, handling a stop at the pharmacy & then dinner together. A productive day with mom & dad, mostly business & a meal of leisure. By day's end we got home & I excitedly sorted through much of the new stock to be prepared for the grand opening sale on black friday. I got a call to go out for a few hours with a friend & his girl & took the invitation. I could use a break from the pace of the day. I got back home & felt inspired to write, so here I am writing. But to write about what? The bigger picture & how I am just a brush stroke within it.. my gratitude chosing the color of which that stroke will be brushed.

My favorite color is Blue, True Blue to be exact. Its the color blue that when you see it you almost want to celebrate or cry for its sincerity, its gratefulness, and its honest "no bull" manner in which it portrays the warm blue flame of love & admiration. All of these feelings recently felt toward my parents & also a special friend who I talk to nightly. I owe my parents so much, yet the best repayment is to progress in this spiritual journey I have undertaken. The other I owe nothing, but an honest representation of myself. Both of which I am trying to learn how to offer. I may make mistkaes, but I will be willing to try again until I get it right & learn how to show them more goodness within me. One way to show my parents their help is appreciated, is to be made a success through hard work & dedication, self sacrifice & opportunism. To run this both legally & morally & come out on top as a guy who made it the right way. From shambles to shamrocks & gold pots under rainbows. Keeping enough for a modest life & using the rest to enmpower people around me & make ammends. What more can a person ask for in sobriety than opportunity to make things right, if not wholly, then in part, and then in part again & again until fulfillment is reached. That is my spiritual goal immediately, with many other long term ones in the pipeline. What can I say more other than I have not seen this much try & fearless foresight in myself since active addiction and for adversely wrong reasons back then.

I want to thank my Higher Power most of all for making this psychic & emotional change possible, but my sponsor & the steps in my life as well making this process easier with each passing day. When I took that third step prayer staying "God I offer myself to the, to build me & do with me s though wilt" I had no clue this is what he had in mind. I have developed an inner passion for the positive influence a close friend in Philadelphia has brouht into my life, she continually cheers up my gloomy days & throught simple concerns of her well being I rest easier knowing she has endured another day sober & in the light of the spirit. SO I have entirely too much to be greatful & adamant about persuing our friendship to the fullest, skies are the limits if she see's eye to eye with my sometimes flirtatious but always intendedly flattering communication. I admire her resovled, dedication to succed in work & sobriety, and to form that which was missing from both our lives for so long. A valid & true friendship, that if nothing more will last forever if we continute on our paths, destined to collide in harmony one day. My writing may seem a little deep & insightful but I feel a bit different than ever before, perhaps its confidence, or just a sincere driven hope for amazing things to come. Whatever that is that comes I am prepared for it, even if it be a slap in the face and a perpetual cold shoulder. She would be not the first in life, but in first in Sobriety that I have not doubted to prove me wrong. You only live once, & if you don't go for what feels undoubtidly to be a right thing, then you're already doing yourself wrong. So here's to gratitude tonight. May it keep my full of the spirit & moving forward in a positivie & welcoming mindset, as well keep my heart warm & welcome for whatever good may chose to give that warmth back. My family, this great friend, I cannot change more than myself at my best, only maintain & grow from that in the future or regress due to setbacks. I'm willing to face the setback of the future, in business, friendship, family, & romance becaue I feel for once I am doing what's right by all who have extended a hand, a heart, or both. So whom extends what. This I ask.. gratefully for all that has been extended thusfar. You are all loved in a ways unique to your own space in my heart & future. GOod Night. Good Monring.. <3 Jimmy