Less is More & The Sky Diving Suggestion

Feb 11. All in all a decent day, hope everyone else's was too. I got a lil rest early on and basically kicked the tail end of that bug out of my sinus. Afternoon I read up on some articles my sponsor had sent me about some non-sobriety issues that we were talking about the other night. After that I got a few other things done like reading and before I knew it my mom was home from work. We chatted a little bit and fixed me up a warm dinner then I went to wash up for the meeting tonight. The meeting tonight was a 'little' different then most I go to and was the first of its kind I had been to in a long time. Its rather fortunate that I went to that particular meeting because there are some things I noticed that I would love to talk about for tonights topic.

First I would like to explain the average 12 step meeting I got to usually has between 15 & 100+ people. It just depends on the night of the week and a matter of chance with who decides to go where. Meetings happen all over and at different times. This meeting was an "open meeting" which basically means its an open discussion meeting with a chair person to mediate the flow. The usual attendance of these meetings is quite large compared to a single person sitting in one chair. With each meeting lasting only one hour it usually means that about 10 or 15 people max end up sharing their strength, hope, & experience. 15 people would give about an average share of 3 minutes a piece with 15 minutes for introductions. Now you got the idea of the size and participation opportunity in the average meeting I see daily.

Tonight's meeting was nothing of the normal so to speak. There were a total of 6 of us in the room. A small meeting could be viewed as less experience, strength, and hope to be shared by fewer successfully sober people being present. It could be seen that way and also be assumed that with less in the meeting a person would get less out of the meeting in terms of sober solutions, spiritual growth, and the overall messages of the program. It COULD, but it WASN'T tonight. The meeting was fantastic to be honest. Each of the six of us got more than double the time to share whats going on in our lives of sobriety. We all had less distraction, less worry of who was going to take our inventory instead of worrying about their own, and less formality that often makes people speak polished instead of real talk from their heart. Tonight LESS was MORE.

Instead of sharing in general we got to take advantage of the extra time and elaborate. The second to last person to share was a newcomer, who now got to experience his first meeting by hearing detailed experience of others. Those details can sometimes mean life or death for a newcomer if they are afraid to ask themselves to hear more. The topic at the meeting was willingness and the most important message I can pass on to anybody that is desperate for change in their life is this... Are you WILLING to do whatever it takes? To do something enough times to get the solution out of it? I remember not having willingness for much in the beginning. First I was unwilling to go to rehab. After finally growing that willingness I found other things that were holding me back from doing whatever it took.

I had to learn to be willing to follow suggestions from others, sometimes even from people with less sobriety or younger in age than myself. Why? Because they had the answers. They call them suggestions in a 12 step program, but I have heard this comparison in the past and it makes alot of sense when your life is on the line due to a deadly disease like addiction/alcoholism. "If you were skydiving and your instructor said that his suggestion was at 2000 feet you should pull the cord to your parachute so you don't die, you would pull that cord wouldn't you?" The analysis is the same, I know I have a deadly disease that if left to freefall will surely kill me. Through the suggestions of a support group and sponsor that have continuous years of sobriety I am learning to soften the landing for myself. Sobriety acting as a parachute in my life. This small meeting tonight was my parachute, an opportunity to share and hear suggestions that could one day save my life. I know that I do not have all the answers, and the day I think I can do it without someone else's guidance to show me one more day sober is the day I am in trouble. Thanks for blogging in. For now.. Good Night. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy