Call Of Duty - The Power To Win Battles

March 30. Hey everyone!! Tuesday's Gone With The Wind. I love that song, if you don't know it listen sometime. So first I guess I'll go over my day, which lacked any productive fiber whatsoever. I really and truthfully slept for so long because as most of us know, I don't sleep well at night. Friends in the program says that will all change around 2 years Sober, I hope they're right. Once I did get moving it was time to clean up and eat dinner. For some reason no matter where I chose to rest my back is throbbing by the end of it all, so after working out the kinks I headed out the door and onto the slushy roads. My destination was a celebration meeting for a friend a few towns over. The turnout was modest but the meeting and the message from the speaker was dynamite! I was thoroughly entertained by the woman's presentation of her story and heard some valueable reminders and strength to inspire my own recovery.

I helped close things up, talked business with a few friends and headed home. So here I am with not much of a day to speak of, but a great life to rant about instead. Before Sobriety came into my life I wouldn't have even gotten out of bed, let alone had dinner or went to a meeting. That is if there wasn't drugs around or a busy bar night. I was entirely and solely motivated by the chemical state of happiness that I found only through using, I was literally bankrupt of all spirituality & serenity in my life. So the 180 degree turn that my life has taken to me, is nothing short of a miracle.

If you don't believe in miracles I am sorry, perhaps one day you will experience one. In truth, every day that I remain sober is another miracle. I don't share often enough about this grace my higher power has shown me. Not a day went by without the drugs or drinks to settle my tortured and weakened soul, instead today not a day goes by without me being grateful for finding happiness outside those means. I remember many prayers I spoke when I started this battle, many of which contained words you wouldn't normally hear in a prayer. But regaurdless of the curses and cries for help something heard me. Fallen down, I was supported. It is because of this, because I lacked the power to stop myself, that I believe something greater has done it for me.

Miracles are heard of everyday, medical miracles, people coming out of helpless coma's and more. We hear about miracles and we try to disect them as a society, we want a scientific explination for the feats of obscurity. Did you ever stop to think that maybe our higher power uses tools like science to perform it's miracles? It's the same way he uses us. My higher power motivated my sponsor and many other close friends in the program to guide me to a better life, one that I could not guide myself to. Before me, their sponsors & friends gave them the same such guidance. When we offer ourselves as modest, humble tools to our higher power; we are capable of performing miracles as well.

This isn't to say that we are almighty beings with immense power, not by any means. In fact we are weak as an individual. Anyone who thinks otherwise, I invite you without hurting yourself to take on something more powerful than yourself.. a computer.. a heavy rock.. a professional boxer?? Many things are more powerful than us, but one thing is most powerful. That thing is our higher power, whatever you may call it/he/she. The specifics don't matter, what does is that we be open as a channel & tool to aid in performing the miracles it wills. So long as our intentions are good, we have belief, and we do the next right thing.. we should have no fear, no doubt, no hesitation to do these works. I have met those willing to die doing good in this world, and I have seen those die doing wrong. I can easily figure out which one of them was smiling & happy to take the risks they did. I challenge myself everyday to be open & honest to others, as I don't know how to perform miracles.. but am willing to try if the opportunity presents itself. The more I make myself available to and of service to others the greater the chances are that I will one day hear the "Call Of Duty". The ball is in your court, will you carry your burdens or let your higher power carry them for you? .. Good Night. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy