Power So Amazing - Selflessness Abroad

March 23. Hey everybody hope you had a great weekend. Mine was pretty good & business was picking up on Sunday. I had worried about a competative market nearby that would draw more crowds but it seems that regaurdless the people came. Monday was good too, other than an screaming back ache. I think the concrete floors & being on my feet all weekend is the culprit. The pain reminds me of why it was so hard in the past to resist self medicating for pain. When doctors wouldn't help & over the counter stuff didn't relieve the pain instead of being strong I copped out & hit the streets for drugs. Its not so bad that I can't function or operate & I believe before it wasn't either, I just couldn't see that when the quick fix was the way of life. Today I got the opportunity to show my newly sober friend to another good meeting, the MARS group Kathy & I created. He brought another friend with him who was going to his very first meeting ever.. no rehab no prior contact.

I remember being newly sober & wanting to spread the feeling of the 'pink cloud' I was on. I was ready to help the world, unfortunately many are not ready or in the same mindset. This guy was however, young but sick and tired of living the life, beating himself down. This is what brings up tonight's topic & its one I talk of often, "selflessness". It truly amazes me, the 12 step fellowship in which I belong to. The way they collectively drop their agenda just to focus on the newcomer. The first meeting we stopped at was the MARS group, Kathy, myself, & the others who were focusing on the third step and a higher power just dropped our works to welcome the newcomer. We turned it into a first step meeting, telling some of our stories of how we came about the fellowship & what drove us to seek out a new way of life.

The group supported & engaged in the selfless change of meeting content. In the end the young man had shared how 'at home' he felt & glad that he came. The purpose of sharing & catering the meeting in such a fashion is to hopefully put something out there that the newcomer can relate to. If they find themselves in one of our stories, they may find themselves staying in the fellowship.. and staying Sober! I marvel at the way we alcoholics put everything aside when another joins our ranks, wishing to find that serenity in life without drugs, alcohol, or the side effects they cause to destroy our lives & happiness. It wasn't just one group of people either.. its everyone.. as we went to a second meeting the welcoming when we arrived was similar.

The other meeting was my home group, they already had begun and had another newcomer that someone else brought. The stage was already set, we had walked into what would seem a coincidence. But there are no coincidences, my higher power works in mysterious ways to help out those who help themselves. Much great advice and many good things were shared in the two hours we spent out with the fellowship. The young man even saw a woman he knew who began crying in joy of seeing him out actively seeking a solution to the problem; alcohol.. addiction.

I can only dig deep within and realize that I too have this selfless drive for someone who seeks the right path. I have found myself countless times giving rides to newcomers, far out of my way at that. Buying them coffee, talking on the phone, and a hug or handshake to offer a friendly gesture. I have introduced people to many members of my support group in hopes that what they have done for & offered me would manifest for them. The old way I thought would be fearful that spreading my resources and offering myself to another would take away from my plate, but in Sobriety it works differently. The only way to keep it & keep it well, is to give it away freely to another. I love the fact that today I am willing to give without expecting a return. The only thing I seek today is serenity and the grace of my higher power. I indeed get that on a daily basis. Having the compulsion & desire to drink and drug removed from my life is thanks enough, but the filling in my life grows. I know one day my actions of the heart and spirit will lead me to a beautiful growth of relationships in my life. Perhaps some great friends and a loving wife one day. I can only be and work on myself daily, stay sober, pray, and help those I can. In return I walk in the light, never needing to hide parts of me in the dark again. Til next time.. Good Night. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy