Some Things Will Never Change - Acceptance & Change

March 26. Hey to all my friends. Well Friday is almost over, just one hour left on the East Coast here. It was a fair week but had some points of discomfort. Thankfully my commitments within the 12 step program have kept me afloat. I got to visit with one of my favorite little people (children) today. CJ came over and ran wild through the house. He even trusted me enough to try a gummy worm for the first time. All smiles from the visit I enjoyed a little rest after he left. Later on we went out to celebrate my Mom's birthday one day early at the Chinese buffet. My visit with the rest of the family was short but I got to see everyone at least. I also got hugs and kisses from my other favorite little people, my nephew and nieces. I cut out early to go set up for the meeting at my homegroup, I held the commitment all month to chair on Fridays. Being my last week to run the meeting, I brought up the topic of Service work as no one else had an urgent problem to speak of. It was fitting & at the end I got to thank the group for the great opportunity to be of service to my fellow alcoholic.

I look forward to doing service work like that again. There is tons of different ways to help & I have experienced some, but plan to learn more ways as well. I came home to rest up after our business meeting for the group, in total it was a three hour commitment for me tonight. Having an early start tomorrow to run Treasure Hunters I figured I'd go home and rest since other plans with a friend fell through, as they have been for a while now. I had a topic pending on my mind though that I didn't get to bring up at the meeting, nor to my sponsor who I had seen there as well. It just kind of crept up on me, so I figured why not share it with all of you.

It seems no matter how much change can occur in one's life, some things remain the same. We can truly only change ourselves, we have been given the free will to do that. My choices as of late have been to try change in a fashion that my higher power would see fit, in essence trying to align my will with that of my higher power's will. I can do this as many times as I wish, with as many aspects of my character as possible, but no matter what it changes nothing about the world around me. So with constant change in me, the world around me changes at its own pace & with its own direction. This is so hard to swallow when I apply it to relationships in my life.

I can decide to be more "__insert good quality__" and work towards making that part of my existing spiritual fiber, but certain people in my life won't respond to that. What I mean is that just because I change for the better in some ways does not mean that person's I relate or deal with in my life will change as well. No matter how much change occurs, nothing changes about the other party. This is the same free will that allows me to change, it allows them to chose to remain the same. Its amazing how this stuff works, before getting Sober I couldn't grasp this simple concept, no simple truth. I often catch myself wondering "What do I gotta do to get them to change?", the answer is nothing. The truth is if it's their will to change then it will happen. Only one tool that I am learning in recovery has been helpful besides prayer... acceptance.

I need to learn to accept that some things will never change. Some people will never change. Some situations will never change. I need to not only accept, but either develop reason or hope that one day the change will occur. I am powerless over others in a spiritual, moral, and emotional sense. Can i affect others? sure. I cannot change them however, only affect situations in their life. I have in many times past tried to play God and meddle in the affairs of others, hoping that change would happen, selfishly trying to get my way. It is a more modern goal of mine to allow my higher power to do the work, focus on and be myself, and accept things for what they are. The key to acceptance is understanding that everything is what it is as any given time because that is exactly what is meant to be at that moment. So when things aren't changing for my benefit, or for what I see as the better; even if for someone else, I need to use that tool of acceptance, use hope as a resource for prayer, and turn it over to my higher power. Afterall, if I ran the world and were in charge of the changes in everyone's lives... we'd all be in big trouble. Thanks for blogging in.. Good Night. Good Morning... <3 Jimmy