Family & Friends - Recovery Is Not One Sided

November 09. Hello friends & family. I had a good monday, hope all of you out there started the week off right. Yesterday was a big day because my parents & I went shopping for my jewelry store & got new items for the opening in the new location this month. Although some parts of the day were straining on us we made it through the day in good shape. Some would say at times I can be spiritually defected & a bull headed type, sometimes I say that others just take me the wrong way when my intentions are not to be difficult. Regaurdless with very few uncomfortable moments we managed to survive a whole day together. Stocking up on new inventory really got my head into a good space & it stayed there through today. I also have gone through a few medical changes this weekend, which turned out to be completely for the better.. Bonus! This evening I went to my typical Monday group & had the benefit of my cousin coming along so my mom didn't have to drive. When we got there I got a ton of stuff out about my week & the good changes happening in my life. Conversation went around & we all talked about stuff on our minds. I realized alot from the group that I have known before, but needed to be reminded of.

In an ordinary person's life, things like spirituality, honesty, and love are a normal part of existance & showing them is not difficult. For alcoholics we often get stumped by our disease & lack the necessary skills to show or recieve these sorts of good traits from others. Its this hinderance that reminds me of what family members, friends, and loved one's of an alcoholic/addict must go through at times. Left untreated, or in active addiction, the disease causes suffering to not only the alcoholic but all those they encounter on an intimate or interactive basis. I know from my experience, I was oblivious to the pain I was & would cause to others, thinking I only hurt myself if anyone got hurt at all. What family members fail to realize is that there is help for them, even if the other individual does not wish to seek it. I know that seems to offer little comfort to most, but just knowing that others have endured these trials in life & some even have overcome them in profound ways, helps to build hope & give shape to life again that may have been lost or made dull by an alcoholic relationship/friendship. Just like there are steps to recovery for the alcoholics, there are the same steps for those affected. Most might think, "But they are the ones who are sick, we shouldn't have to change or undergo anything?"

The truth is that no one single individual is free from defect, and for non-alcoholics dealing with the constant flare up of other's disease, we can fail to see our own shortcomings, mistakes, or defects. In some cases we become so fixated on the wrong going on over there, that we fail to see where we can be a better person over here. It's a "here and there" distraction that the enemies of our higher power wants us to be stuck on. If we drop our fighting stance, and simply walk with the spirit, we can begin to heal ourselves long before the sick person/s in our lives begin to recover. How? There are countless fellowships & programs in place for family members, some effective, some not, and some life changing. The latter I speak of incorporate the same tools of recovery that an addict or alcoholic use, but puts the power of those tools into the hand of family members & friends. Their ability to either grow their own spiritual strength or avoid another's spiritual disaster is important, and many close to an alcoholic slowly lose their ability to do this over time. That's where the same steps & the same higher power can free the family & friends from suffering. Does this mean it will not still hurt to watch another destroy themselves? Certainly NOT. But it better prepares us for the day they either begin their walk to wellness or it helps us to prepare for the pending self destruction that follows staying sick. No matter the instance recovery is as vital to the family & friends as it is to the addicted party. That is the message that I was reminded of, and that is the message I wish to share with you today. Thanks for blogging in. Good Night. Good Morning... <3 Jimmy