Remember What Our Goal Is

November 21. Hello everyone, hope your Sunday was a Super one. Mine was very hectic & a little overwhelming, but here I am, still sober to write about it. For a lot of people I know Sundays begin their week, I am backwards in that sense as it ends mine & I like to reflect on what I've accomplished or fallen short in. This week I have recieved so much help from my family, I could have never imagined all they would do when I asked for a simple hand helping me setup my new store. Thank you all who helped, the place looks great & is almost ready to be a serious jewelry store. A few more finishing touches & I couldn't be happier with it all. This adventure reminds me looking back not only on the week, but the whole year. January I started this jewelry business & ever since the sky has been my limit, one improvement after another, my higher power opening new doors all the time for me to advance it further. We've been busy all year, all week especially, and for me today more than any other days this week. It was a long day, I was sore, there was alot to do & alot of double working the layout. We got through it though finally before it was time for the owner to lock the doors. Afterwards we got a bite to eat & got home just after 10pm to unload all the tools & stuff from the site. So I'm sure you get it, today was busy, so much going on that I didn't have a moment for myself until now. I'm taking advantage of this time to do some writing because it helps me heal my soul I've learned. Today while working towards building up my business that I plan to use as my vehicle for future success, I heard some stressful news come from another area of my life that I also have been thinking of in regaurds to my future. The bad news came during the storm of busy work I had to accomplish today, I couldn't let it cloud my mind despite how much it clouded my feelings.

In recovery I feel that is so important, our sobriety hinges on it sometimes, so much that I'd like to make it my topic tonight. Sometimes we get very busy in life, stressed, overwhelmed, all of these difficult sensations & situations. It's important that we "Remember What Our Goal Is" no matter how hard or immediate the situation. My goal today was first & foremost to remain sober. If I let any of the factors of my day take higher priority than that, I could be in a dangerous spiritual place that leads soon after to a drink or a drug. So I have to continually balance the tasks at hand, the feelings I have, the thoughts that come & go, along with other things as well. For example today I had aching muscles to add to the pile, as well as work to be completed in a time critical environment building the store. All of this adds extra pressure that can make an alcoholic like me spiritually sick. When you add in the stressful news I got from a person I have grown close to, it can be almost too much to process in one day. I was literally so busy that I have not yet had the opportunity to actually think & feel my way through the situation that has happened in this other person's life, which directly affects mine in ways because I have planned to have them a part of my future. The old me would have taken this scenario & all but given up on the work to be done today, figuring that if one part of my future has gotten difficult to face that I should just say to hell with the rest of it too. Thankfully today I have a great program & people in my life helping me to learn how to continue to care about not only my life, but potentially the lives of others who may or also be affected.

Normal people just take this clarity & foresight for granted, normal thinking is not the same as alcoholic thinking. Often our first thoughts are the ones that used to rule our lives & our second is one of a more spiritual basis. My first thoughts of the news I heard today were anxious & self destructive, the alcoholic thoughts. I wanted to go into a corner somewhere & literally feel sorry for myself at first, self pity is a sign of lacking spirituality at that moment. I certainly was lacking it, but I gathered myself together & went out to have a cigarette. I didn't try to think about what was bothering me, thinking too much was a great downfall in my active addiction, instead I tried to clear my mind & think about what I needed to. My trailing thoughts that have been taught to me in recovery worked in this situation, I am grateful that my Higher Power has given me this ability in this current scenario. My thoughts collected on the fact that I must remain sober if I am to have any sort of a happy life at all, logic was settling in over my over-emotinal & alcoholic panic, the next thought was that I have two loving parents inside working their asses off for the future of my business. My business makes me happy, I love what I do & happiness is the ultimate goal in sobriety. It was clear that I could not just give up three laboring days into the modeling of my store's layout, I got a grip finally. I was ready to get back to work, I pushed the news off in my mind because there was so much left to do & I went back to join my parents in doing it. I tell this story of today's events because often we don't remember what we are supposed to be doing, that is staying Sober first & foremost. Our goal is to live free from the terror of our disease & happy, for once without calling my sponsor or running to a meeting I was able to accomplish handling a difficult situation. The past year & many months of people teaching me how to live right through the 12 Steps has paid off, the practice I have done accumulated, and ONE TIME I made it through that busy day without giving up or giving in. I thank my Higher Power & all who have taught me how to live my new life for the experience I am gaining in living sober. I will leave tonights topic at that "Remembering What Our Goal Is", for now, I have a lot of thinking to do now that I'm not so busy. There's enough clouds in my head to rain for days. Blue skies are ahead though if I stay sober One Day At A Time. Good Night.. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy