Inner Peace - The Search For Serenity

June 08. Hey guys & girls, Tuesday is coming to an end & another 24 hours sober is accumulating in my life. When you stop counting days & start living in today, just staying sober one day at a time & growing spiritually one step at a time, life starts to become more peaceful. I was up early from lack of sleep & a few bad dreams, so I decided to stay up until mom left to follow her for the weekly gas fill-up. She headed off for the day & I came back home to try & rest. I ended up turning on the tv (the satelite was broken this morning & I had to fix it at 7AM) to watch something as I settled in. I got into watching a program that I was very interested in & before I knew it I was awake another 4 hours. Finally I got to sleep & more dreams woke me up. Mom came home & I took another shot at a powernap, this time making it until dinner was ready. Shortly after it was time to clean up & head out to my usual meeting. I got there & a girl brought up a topic that I wanted to speak about tonight. Afterwards I spent an hour with a friend in the parking lot, sometimes the meeting after the meeting is the most spiritually rewarding. On this day it was both that were equally valuable to my sober & spiritual growth.

The topic at the meeting was obtaining your "Inner Peace" & how vital & easy it can be for lasting happiness in life. It talked about how peace is not simply quiet & calm times, but a state of existance that is assuring, relaxing, and enjoyable even in the most volitile environments. I immediately associated this concept with the Serenity Prayer & the entire concept of having serenity in my life. Its something that must be worked for & in many cases that I must let go of many things to achieve. The 12 Steps are helping me do that & most days at least for an hour I feel that sense of Serenity or Inner Peace in my life. I can only imagine that with more work & the application of further spiritual principles in all my affairs, that one day I will experience a solid & continuous presence of peace & serenity in my life. If I aim for that goal, I can only accomplish more & fall short a mostly happy man in life. Which would be miles above the bar I had set during active addiciton, which was to die a pathetic death to end my suffering.

"The Search For Serenity" is the bottom line, and it's also a book written by Presnall. The front cover of that book says 'A Helpful Guide For Anyone Seeking Peace of Mind In This Troubled World Of Tensions - Pressures - Fears'. I am not sure if a manual can describe all the methods for me being free of those gloom & doom parts of me, but it can certainly give me tools to work with my higher power to be rid of them eventually. I see so many who have completed the Steps & worked on themselves in a state of peace & serenity with themselves, their higher power, and the world around them. It is that exact state they live in that gives me hope that I too can achieve it. When I say the Serenity Prayer I daily ask my higher power to grant me Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom. All for the sake of being a better individual, not for selfish reasons, but to do it's work & help other human beings.

I believe that if my goal is Serenity, and it is granted in turn for being of service & help to others, than the way to get Peace in my life is to do just that.. help & serve others in a manner that my higher power would have me. I must turn my selfish ambitions & rampant will run wild over to my higher power, and take on it's will that is pure, calming, and peaceful. When I eliminate my self-seeking defects, all that exists is for others in this world, the more I can be without them, the more worldly & peaceful I can be. So the 12 Steps become ever more necessary in my life, because without them & my higher power I cannot be rid of all those bondages of self. So when we are looking for peace at the end of the day, let us all look to others for it, to look within ourself for happiness & serenity we will only find it when we are rid of self & truly doing our Higher Power's work for others. May your life be filled with Joy, Peace, & Serenity. Good Night. Good Morning... <3 Jimmy