Life's Expectations - Dream On

June 21. Well I hope everyone got over their case of the "Mondays", it took me a little while but here I am. Happy & free once again. I did nothing of significance all day except get some rest that I needed. Bad dreams early this morning did not want to let me sleep. I started getting ready for my meeting when I remembered I had forgotten to do something & someone was counting on me to deliver. I weighed my options & determined it was going to be better to be late & consistant than on time & unprepared. That consistancy later proved to be worth while because the gentleman didn't mind at all that things were imperfect & was not let down. Funny how an attempt at doing the right thing, turns out to be exactly the right thing after all. So very late to the meeting I joined my sponsor & other friends at MARS Group, I'm glad I did. It was the pick me up that I needed, or the way to shake off the case of the "mondays" I had. It turned out that my phone while charging had entered a mode where my calls were going to voicemail, and friends were worried about me because I am normally at MARS Group prompt to its starting. That felt great to know others care that much about me to call & leave messages.

There is so much I have come to expect out of life, or wanted to find since getting sober. Sometimes it can be overly exciting to get those things, or smashing of morale when you don't. At least for me it can be that way. But I often lose track of an important key element when expecting things to appear in my world.. During my active addiction I expected nothing but to get by & get high another day. There was no accomplishing goals, there was no relationships, and no expecting to have other needs met or to get any sort of joy from others or things either. Unless they were drugs or a drink that is. We often get sober & immediately expect all of our wants & needs to be filled. Fortunately that is now how it works. I say "fortunately" because by not just getting what I want or desire in my life it gives me the opportunity to appreciate & value these things or persons when they do finally enter my life. That is to say if they even enter it at all. There are no gaurantee's our wishes will be met just because we got sober & started a spiritual journey.

But I DO HAVE FAITH that my higher power will fullfil my dreams, and give me the strength to do my part when it comes to these desires. So long as my wishes are in the same moral field & "good or great things" I believe that doing the right thing consistantly & living right will yeild these dreams over time. I do not dream outside the box, because I do not wish to be let down any more than I already am sometimes. For example I do not dream of flying like a bird, but I do dream of flying to Europe one day. See if our goals are tangible, respectable, and healthy then we should hold tight on to them & never grow them into an obsession or put them before our sober & spiritual life. It is my goal to continue to dream, without expectation. It is my hopes that through living a spiritual & sober life of good intetions & actions that my higher power will bless me with such dreams. I will never want anything more than the strength to achieve my goals, for them to appear from thin air would mean less, and I want to value life's treasures as they become part of my life. It's been helpful for me to talk about this topic tonight, with things in perspective once again I hope you can all do one thing for me as you read this.. Dream On! Good Night.. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy