June 05. Hey friends, its early Saturday morning & I have to go run my store in a few hours. That isn't stopping me though from logging in to share my spiritual experiences & trials for the day. I constantly find this outlet to be more than relief even after the longest days. Although I may not sleep much yet, I do sleep better knowing that I have put my journey down as words. I went out in the morning with my cousin then relaxed for about an hour before going to meet a friend for a deposit on merchandise. By the time I got back I had about another half hour before it was time for our typical friday dinner out with mom & dad. Although they botched the pizza tonight, which is unusual for the place, the time spent was still as great as ever. Afterwards I went to my home group meeting early, I was the chairman for the meeting & had to set up & make coffee etc. Some regular group members showed up & the task was made much simpler as they were eager to help. Service work is something that many of us, who are commited to sober & spiritual living, jump on in a heartbeat.

The meeting went on & we did a reading on the sixth tradition, which wasn't talked about much after because someone had a problem with "carrying the message" & how far of lengths one should go. I related to the topic because altough there are many I would like to help, I cannot do everything for most or mostly everything. In the end it matters how spiritually & mentally fed up a perosn must before they change or seek solutions, we simply cannot control that only guide it when willingness is shown. That however is not my main topic, I had been lost in thought from the middle of the topic discussion to the conclusion of the meeting. I had truly had be "shrunk" spiritually & in confidence of my capabilities toward helping another. Doubt & a mere mild form of contentment was all that seemed to rest on my shoulders, that was until I got outside myself & realized that I can do something about it, like I can all my other spiritual ailments.

So I had decided up on closing up the meeting & building we hold it in, I would go for a ride, my mission to sort through these feelings and accept their roots individually. I drove for a few hour exploring my mind, clustered with feelings of powerlessness over certain others I with to help. But there as also a glint of gratitdue for what I was able to accomplish through others just trying to help me. Ever convinced after a short time that it's not worrk tthing up at alom