You Give Me Something To Believe In - Attraction v.s. Promotion

April 27. Hello to all my friends again. I want to remind all who read my daily writings how much I appreciate your support. To be a voice that is heard, even if only by one person's ears, is something irreplacable. When I used to have nothing constructive or passionate to say I longed for the voice I am able to speak with today. Speaking of today it wasn't half bad. I was really lazy throughout the morning. Around 7 I woke up & tinkered online for a while then paced the house from 9 til 10 expecting my mom to get home. I had forgotten she was going to paint at my grandmother's house for the day. When she did arrive though it was a double wammy, she not only was home but she brought a carload of merchandise for my business that was acquired from my grandmother & her aunt. I was a little too tired to be stoked right away but the more I thought of it the more I reflected on how much I appreciate all she does for me.

I was totally beat from not sleeping well, I am currently working on training my body to have more regular sleep paterns & its a very odd battle to persue. The years of devestation & recklessness on my body has made for a difficult time sleeping alone, strangley enough with someone nearby me sleeping as well I can sleep like a baby. I think the answer is deep within my subconscience & also has to do with growing more spiritually. The more that is let go, the less can afflict my rest. So after waking again I got ready & headed to a meeting tonight, unaware it was a celebration meeting & I was running a few minutes late. I ended up arriving & not missing a beat, they must have gotten a slow or late start. When I saw it was a warm person I know in the fellowship celebrating 8 years I was glad I had made it. The meeting went on in usual format & the guest speaker came up.

The speaker was a man I know from many short conversations & through friendship with my sponsor as well. I never really knew much about him but I always had an admiration for his brand of Sobriety & his calm cool & collected nature. In short words, he has what I want. Hearing his story explained so much to me about where he had come from & where he is now. What a difference in people that truly practice spiritual principles in their life, its a staggering comparison. It gives me hope, faith.. "IT GIVES ME SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN!" As he was barraged with many people thanking him for his great message I did not get to specifically tell him that but I plan to at our next home group meeting on friday. I just want to let him know, "You give me something to believe in".

That reminds me of one of the traditions of the fellowship, as it has 12 steps it also has 12 traditions. One of which, tradition 11, states "Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films". Its because of this tradition that I do not just come out & say which fellowship I belong to, however I am unafraid & make it clear enough that with a little reasearch one can find out what 12 step program has performed the miracles in my life. In any case, tonights speaker reminded me of this tradition. His story, his words, the way he carries himself & lives his life Sober & Spiritual even through hard times.. it attracts me to the fellowship, its twelve steps, and to follow suggestions like he did to get where he is spiritually today.

I was attracted to what he has, without even a single promotion from him or anyone else to spark my desire for it. The brand of sobriety he has clings to the 12 steps & daily maitenence of his spiritual condition. I once heard a saying "I came to the meeting tonight to see what condition my condition is in." That is motivation enough, its a reality that if I don't keep myself in check & close to what works, nothing will work for me. I have heard many times people speak about how they got sober without a program, some claiming to get sober without a higher power also.. I have seen each one of those people return to the drink or drug of choice, once again needing a miracle to get back out. I have also seen the metamorphasis of people like that, finally giving their will over & embracing the program. The were attracted by people who were actually happy in life & that attained lasting sobriety. Attraction over promotion!

Today more than ever, after hearing the man speak at this celebration, I am convinced that if I follow the path of the 12 Steps, continue to have a relationship with my higher power, and walk in the footsteps of those who have a brand of Sobriety in their life that I want in mine that I will be able to grow to spiritual greatness & achieve the Serenity that carries them through life's most difficult challenges in a sober victory. To everyone out there who has something in their spiritual life that I want in my own I want to say THANKS!!! You Give Me Something To Believe In! Good Night.. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy