Accepting Others - Willingness To Change

May 14. Its 11pm on friday night, in an hour I will have one day left before my 29th birthday. I hope this weekend is great for everyone, you don't need a birthday or any other special occasion to make a day, weekend, or even a week something special in your life. Just taking time to reflect on the many good things that hold us together & improve our daily life is enough sometimes. I had dinner w/ mom & dad tonight, our weekly friday ritual, and as always I enjoyed spending time with them. This side of me did not exist in the past without selfish motive attached. It's nice to see change this early in my recovery with our relationship, I am still very sick spiritually & any good changes are true signs of progress. Afterwards I went out to my home group meeting, arriving a half hour early. Some chit-chat before & a great topic once we started it was once again an enjoyable meeting.

I spent a few minutes talking with my sponsor, who is helping another newcomer much newer than myself. It's great to see him working with a "green" alcoholic/addict again. We all can benefit from working with others & offering our time/selves to others, I can see how much it takes him out of his 'self' & the life circumstances he is struggling through. I need to always remember what I see working around me, because when things storm up in my life, I need to know what works or potentially end up with a drink. That drink as any alcoholic knows leads to countless more, other chemicals, then oblivion which is second to the spiritual hole that prevails after each run we take. The great news is that relapse is not a requirement & I have not had the compulsion to drink or drug in many months, the suggestions are working & recovery seems bright. I am learning to accept certain things about myself, not to continue to allow them to rule me, but instead to work at changing them.

Its that same acceptance that was the topic at tonight's meeting. Its practiced in its simplest form when we admit we have a spritual, social, or physical disease that is preventing us from living a normal life, the life we actually want. Tonight was more of a discussion about how acceptance comes into play with others in our lives though. The topic passed around was more in the line of understanding that other people are who they are & we cannot change them, only ourselves. If we cannot continue to function normally with certain others in our lives, then we need to make decisions about ourselves that will return us to sanity, not point out what they are doing wrong & try to change them. In the end we may need to remove ourselves from a relationship with that person, or sometimes we just need to make changes within ourselves to not take them so seriously and allow ourselves to get resentments, fears, or other type of hurt that they can inflict upon us when we are spiritually invested in them.

Distance is not always a bad thing, it has saved many a men & women from taking that first drink, which I might add if we don't take that first one.. we cannot get drunk or high. That is my continued goal regaurdless of myself or others spiritual condition, is to not take that first drink & continue to show up as well as be willing to follow suggestions to discover what really works for me. Its not always promised that early on things will be instantly reverted to enjoyable & reasonably happy times, but it is promised that if I remain willing to change & learn that I will in time find reasonable happiness & more often then not feel the Serenity that is prayed for at the start of each function. So when we end up in a situation where others are hurting us, in any fashion due to their own defects, remember that if we point our finger at them there could be many more fingers pointing back at us & our own defects. Sometimes a simple change within that we find through hard work & being willing to change, can make all the difference in how our lives with others flows. So when hitting bumps in the road of all our relationships ALWAYS remain willing to change ourselves first, because others might not be so willing or able. Good Night.. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy