9 Months - Not Pregnant, Sober! One Day At A Time

April 20. Today marks a great day in my life. Preceeded only by a few other great moments thusfar, no prize or material matter comprises what is so special. On Monday, I started a day like any other, just one more day of my "one day at a time" life. In the 24 hours that made up my monday, I really did not do all that much, but as each second of sobriety passed on great things were building up. A great meeting with a very sick & newly sober person started the descend towards the end of the day. With so many reminders of what its like to be sick & suffering still, I tried not to take a single bit of advantage of the entire hour & a half with the newcomer. Finally we adjourned & I rushed to meet my sponsor as his usual monday meeting came to a close. A little talk & a hug later it was a wrap. I stopped to see one more friend before going out for a little while & having coffee. Still unaware in my conscience that something great was nearing. Then all of a sudden at the stroke of midnight as I was getting ready to head home I got a txt message from someone.

The contents of the message & who sent it is irrelivant, but when I closed the message the time & date popped up on my phone. Much to my suprise one more day had passed & I was NOW 9 MONTHS SOBER! The sceptics were wrong, the critical must have over analyzed this thing... there I was, living a spiritual program that insists on handling life's business one day at a time & I was at a new milestone.. 9 months. I cannot count how many people said that it only took willpower as I failed time & again doing it that way. I don't know how many times I tried changing location, substances, people, nothing worked. Nothing but this one simple 12 step program that required my whole heart wishing that something would work. If I were asked my first day sober to imagine being 9 months clean, I would have gotten depressed at the task & probably would have been high or drunk in minutes from the thought. But I never had to do that, my friends in the program told me not to worry about a month, 2, 3, 6, 9... they said just worry about today.

And today happens to be a great day in my life. Maybe even in other's around me, because my change has brought joy to many who suffered with & because of my disease at its worst. So this 9 months of sober says I can do this right? I must be cured right? WRONG. No matter how much time I have Sober in my life I can never lose track of what has gotten me there, or what is necessary to maintain this quality of life. I must give credit where it is due, my higher power has had a huge hand in helping me through this all. If it wasn't for it's constant reassurance through mini miracles along the way I might not still be here. But when I was promised everything would be alright, well, ITS ALRIGHT!

I have faced an ugly few weeks in my life lately, days I would normally drink or drug over to not have to feel how I feel over it. I now know why it was so hard to stop in the past, because without the changes & program in my life today I may not have been able to stand my life's consequences enough to stay clean & at the rate I was going it was only a dart on a calander as to which night I was going to finally overdose back then. So what will I do today now that I am 9 months sober, the same thing I do every other day. Maybe once exception will be different, instead of watching someone else get their 9mo coin at the meeting tonight, I will be going to get mine. I will probably hold it in my hand for the whole hour, rubbing it to a shiny finish. Thats just how much I appreciate my life today, to hold on tight & cherish all the comprises it. Maybe as I journey on I will meet the right one & whatever comes with them, and need my arms to hold it tight instead of just my fingers. One day at a time is not so bad, when you have today to be grateful. Thanks for blogging in.. Good Night.. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy