Wild Fire - New Growth From Burned Out Life

April 05. Hey everybody, hope your Easter was a great one if you celebrated the holiday. I know that mine was just fine & I am ever greatful to have been Sober for the event. This morning I woke up tired & not really ready for "people". I went from my EZ-chair where I fell asleep to the bed that was occupied earlier during the night. I didn't get woken until our early dinner time came around at 12:30. Dinner was delicious but I couldn't stuff alot in, which is unusual for the holidays. I couldn't shake that groggy feeling & by the time the kids went out for their easter egg hunt I was falling asleep in my chair again. I slept so long I missed the departure of everyone and woke up to an empty house, and an almost empty feeling.

I decided a coffee would be good and headed out to find something to fill the gap I was feeling. I ended up at Dunkin Doughnuts and suprisingly ran into some friends from the fellowship. It was a great find, almost treasure, considering how I was feeling prior to pulling up to the place. We chatted for several minutes and my mind hit a better zone, realizing life will go on and there is still many great things to be grateful for. Missing half of the visit from everybody had me down, but things were picking up. The coffee was great and the talk too, I headed out to keep busy and out of trouble for a while.

I enjoyed a nice drive to clear my head and find a positive not to go off of. I ended up parking to enjoy the nighttime view in one of my favorite spots over the city in the valley below. It had gotten extremely late & before I knew it I was heading home in the dead of night, but not everything was dead. On my ride home I look off to the landscape to my right, only to see that the entire mountain was ablaze on fire. The destruction was not my first thought, I was captivated by the amazing glow of embers and flame in the black of night. It was a beautiful display of light and color, and it stretched for MILES. There was no access for fire trucks in the woods, but i noticed one emergency vehicle far off from the blaze, about a mile or two on a trail. This was a once in a lifetime sight.

Like watching an entire city burn, I would never see this again. A few others had pulled over, maybe 6 of us in total and all awestruck. I took a few pictures and an undercover officer in uniform drove up to each of our cars and urged us to move on. I wonder if we werent supposed to see them letting it just burn. In any case, I didn't want trouble so on I went. It made me think of how destroyed alot of the habitat and the forest would be. Like in my own life, everything was singed and burnt to a crisp. You would think it a tragedy, and it sort of is.. even what happened in my life for so long. But when the blaze died down, when I was finally burnt out, something amazing happened.

The destruction of nearly everything allowed room for new, pure, strong things to grow. As new trees and plants will grow, birds and animals will move back to the scorched mountainside one day. Although there was loss, the environment like my life has a chance to gain much. On the right track and in the right conditions the forest will thrive, I too can thrive if I stay on the path of spirituality & sobriety. So I guess my point is tonight that not all bad things end bad. The forest will live, so will I. Both of us coming back stronger than before, with the will of my higher power. From a great tragedy has come great miracles & more will come with patience and hard work. So when the city must burn.. let it, just be aware that the recovery of all is a long, demanding process. I urge everyone who knows someone who has "burned out" to have the patience, and if you chose to try and help, wait til the fire is out. When the conditions are right, the great things in their forest will blossom if they are given the right seeds. I get my seeds from the 12 step program & all my friends in the fellowship. Plant the right seeds, and the right things will grow. Good Night.. Good Morning... <3 Jimmy