Taking Things Personal - Powerlessness Over Others

April 26. Hey everybody, hope your week started of well. Mine was not a terrible beginning & that says alot because there is a swirl of drama that I could easily allow to drag me down if I want to give into my alcoholic ways. The opportunity to continue to grow spiritually & in sobriety has kept me too excited to give in thusfar. My monday wasn't typical but was. I slept way too much because I ran myself so lean on sleep & my needs over the weekend. I also had a social let down that I intrepreted as a failure at first, after throwing the thoughts around I have settled for it having nothing to do with me, rather someone else's personal choice. We had a great meeting tonight at MARS Group where we talked about keeping in contact with our higher power & how praying & wishing great things on another really benefits us as a person in the end. I got to see my sponsor & we actually got to talk on a problem he was having, which was an opportunity for me to remind him on some sound advice he has given me over the past 9 months in my life.

I called a friend on my ride home who is struggling with life & sobriety as well, just to keep good spirits & assure him that if he's after a solution that one is out there. I accomplished the things that make me feel better on a daily basis (PRISM) & in the end today was as good a sober day as any despite some dull moments in my thinking. I wanted to talk about what I mentioned earlier.. I had gotten upset & felt a rejected failure, when in truth it was someone else's personal choice & circumstances that caused a situation to not work out for me. Personal choice says it all, there is nothing wrong with me persay, although I work on many defects in my spiritual life. That word.. "personal" reminds me of some sound advice that has put many things into perspective for me when dealing with others in my sobriety.

Not just sometimes, but often, people are going to make choices or do things that either do not take me into consideration or that affect my feelings in a way I wish they didn't. The advice, and what I try to always remember, was that 'We should never take anything personal. If someone does or says something that doesn't fit well with us or hurts us.. it is THEM, not us. If we take it personal we are in a way feeling responsible for their feelings or actions which we have NO CONTROL over whatsoever. We can only have power over ourselves & how we function in society or relationships, lets not take someone else's mistake or failure to consider a personal attack, its not personal its just them.' .. I won't quote the source of that advice as they have always liked to remain anonymous but I never heard such a helpful piece of advice when it came to dealing with others.

At the end of the day I can only improve upon myself, through spiritual & sober ways. My improvements may in fact make things better for others around me, but I can't take it personal if everyone doesn't make things always better for me. My higher power may have even made things happen that way for a reason, I am in no position to question its choices. So at the end of the day, if I am feeling down over someone else's choices or actions I can rest easier if I remember that I can only drive my life & my spiritual growth, I must never take something personal EVEN WHEN IT IS. There must be a mistake on someone else's part or a lack of understanding if I am hurt or offended and if it's intentional its still not personal, its their problem not mine. The ability to not dwell on the hurt that is caused to me & trying to understand its nothing personal with me will greatly improve my chances of spiritual successes to come. Thanks for blogging in.. Good Night.. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy