April 21. The clock has just turned & Tuesday's gone with the wind. Happy Wednesday everyone. Today was a good day & in reality every day I don't drink or use drugs is a better day than those gone past. I had the liberty after dinner to attend my usual tuesday night meeting & recieve my 9 Month Sobriety Coin. I happen to wear them around my neck on a bezelle & chain, no coincidences I keep it close to my heart literally. My sister had stroked the phrase "Medal of Honor" when I sent her a picture via txt mail, the statement couldn't be more true. It is an honor to recieve these medals, symbolizing not only the continued abstenance from mild altering substances.. but the hard work that we all must put into daily life if we want to remain spiritually fit.
I knew from many failed attempts fighting my disease in the past, that if this program were to work as others said, it would be one hell of a battle. In combat you follow ordeers & do anything to survive, much the same to what I have been through in the 9 passing months. I was never given an order, but suggestions on how to save my life & livelyhood all the same. When I fell short of some of the objectives I suffered casualties, taking losses & gains one struggle at a time. Instead of wounds of the physical type, I have suffered many spiritual damages but none so threatening to my serenity, to the objective as when I was in active addiction. The hardest part of the battle was learning a new way to fight, my old methods nearly had me raising a white flag altogether.
To learn these new methods I had to follow direction, the direction of my fellow 12 steppers aka my fellow soilders. They had seemed to have defeated their enemies, themselves, using the same battle plan for over 75 years & passing the secret down to each soldier who enters the fight. I thank my higher power for the traditions in my 12 step fellowship, the ones that say in order to keep our victories we must pass them on to the newly signed soldiers. Without such a tradition the fight would be impossible for many. It is true, I have managed to fight my worst enemy for the past 9 months, myself.. my alcoholic thinking.. & my old way of fighting life's battles. But my battle has JUST BEGUN.
I cannot worry about what type of battlefield I will be on a week or year from now, or what shape or size the enemy will present itself in. I must fight my battle today & be victorious in order to even see tomorrow's challenges. That is why I must stay on the path, one day at a time & constantly conditioned for whatever encounter is next. Did I sign onto this campaign to "fight" or "battle" every day of my life? No, I fight whats necessary to survive & the days the enemy does not present itself I march with a smile on my face. Marching for the rest of my life, a soldier's life, seems so uninteresting.. but I would rather March then die. I have come to understand that long ago I awakened & threatened an enemy within myself that wants me dead & will not rest until I am. With that in mind, I'll take every "Medal of Honor" along the way & with a prayer to my higher power say this.. "I'll be damned if it takes my freedom, my happiness, or my life ever again. You want a fight, well you got one!" .. Good Night.. Good Morning.. <3
I knew from many failed attempts fighting my disease in the past, that if this program were to work as others said, it would be one hell of a battle. In combat you follow ordeers & do anything to survive, much the same to what I have been through in the 9 passing months. I was never given an order, but suggestions on how to save my life & livelyhood all the same. When I fell short of some of the objectives I suffered casualties, taking losses & gains one struggle at a time. Instead of wounds of the physical type, I have suffered many spiritual damages but none so threatening to my serenity, to the objective as when I was in active addiction. The hardest part of the battle was learning a new way to fight, my old methods nearly had me raising a white flag altogether.
To learn these new methods I had to follow direction, the direction of my fellow 12 steppers aka my fellow soilders. They had seemed to have defeated their enemies, themselves, using the same battle plan for over 75 years & passing the secret down to each soldier who enters the fight. I thank my higher power for the traditions in my 12 step fellowship, the ones that say in order to keep our victories we must pass them on to the newly signed soldiers. Without such a tradition the fight would be impossible for many. It is true, I have managed to fight my worst enemy for the past 9 months, myself.. my alcoholic thinking.. & my old way of fighting life's battles. But my battle has JUST BEGUN.
I cannot worry about what type of battlefield I will be on a week or year from now, or what shape or size the enemy will present itself in. I must fight my battle today & be victorious in order to even see tomorrow's challenges. That is why I must stay on the path, one day at a time & constantly conditioned for whatever encounter is next. Did I sign onto this campaign to "fight" or "battle" every day of my life? No, I fight whats necessary to survive & the days the enemy does not present itself I march with a smile on my face. Marching for the rest of my life, a soldier's life, seems so uninteresting.. but I would rather March then die. I have come to understand that long ago I awakened & threatened an enemy within myself that wants me dead & will not rest until I am. With that in mind, I'll take every "Medal of Honor" along the way & with a prayer to my higher power say this.. "I'll be damned if it takes my freedom, my happiness, or my life ever again. You want a fight, well you got one!" .. Good Night.. Good Morning.. <3
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