A Tool or Crutch? - A Crutch IS A Tool

June 17. Hello friend, family, & fellow freedom fighers. It was another good day in my life, this trend is ongoing & a true blessing from my higher power. I didn't sleep really much at all last night & had a 2 hour nap before the doctors this afternoon, mom went for the ride with me. It was another great group there, although I am the minority opinion being one of the only few that attend a 12 Step fellowship out of all his patients. Funnily enough he see's the most progress in me he says. If thats true or not I may never know, but it certainly felt good to hear. After the visit & group I had another appointment with my counselor I see once a month. I brought alot of "life" out during that visit & you could say that I heard some helpful things, but it was mostly a venting session. Sometimes those are necessary & very helpful, other times we hope that these professionals can provide us with helpful solutions or advice. Its not always the case when you are seeing a court appointent agency with less than experienced therapists rather than highly educated & experienced counselors with masters or M.D.'s. All was well though and the visit served it's purpose. I came home for dinner then back out again to my usual Thursday meeting at Aurora Group.

The topic there was the 12 Step meetings & fellowship being reffered to as a "crutch" by many. So many people who are ignorant to our inability to stop & stay stopped alone tease & pressure addicts/alcoholics into giving up that crutch and using their own willpower. Our own willpower & thinking is what got us there in the first place, it is not capable nor logical to assume it can get us out or keep us out of addiction. I have found that the meetings are the tool for me to work at a sober & spiritual life. Like some unique tools, there is only one & it does its specific job. A crutch for example is a tool by which people mobilize when injured or suffer the severing of a leg. This tool helps them get by until they are well, and unfortunately alcoholism does not have a cure, we can only work in the solution & gain a daily reprieve from it. That being said it is much like a severed limb, only a disease that does not allow us to ever be functional without the "tool" by which we get by.. or the "crutch" we use to walk. With that in mind, I am not ashamed to use a "crutch" to walk the straight and narrow. It beats crawling in the lows of the mud & humanity while my addiction run rampant in my life. It is the only tool that I have found to date that works, I have tried everything myself, and tried many outside sources of help. I have found only one tool by which I can travel this world sober & spiritual, happy & free, that is through the 12 Step fellowship, meetings, and program altogether. Thanks for blogging in.. Good Night.. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy