Built In Forgetters - Gratitude Can Be A Solution

May 20. Hey friends, I hope all of you got to enjoy a beautiful sunny day like I did. They weren't always so enjoyable & I have to remember that as motivation for my continual spiritual growth. I got an early visit from my sister coming to get some old cages from the woods outside our house for making window boxes for pets. I decided to get out of my lazy mode & come out to see my nephew as well help her cut the cages apart & get them in her car. It was a nice unexpected visit & it was short but sweet. My mom got back a little later form shopping w/ my aunt & we headed out to my Doctors about 45 minutes away. It couldn't have been a more pleasant day for a long drive. The group we had after my visit there was phenominal, the first time it actually was overly productive & full of honest heartfelt peer to peer therapy. A long wait in the line at a checkout before getting on the highway & we were off heading back home for dinner time.

I got out the grill & mom did the rest of the magic she does with every meal. Afterwards I got ready & headed down to my usual thrusday night meeting, since starting the MARS Group with my friend Kathy a formerly required thursday group I had to attend has become no longer mandatory. This has given me the liberty of attending a 12 Step meeting that has been really beneficial to my weekly program. At the meeting we had a great speaker, when it was time for a topic to come up he chose gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for today, I am even grateful for my addiction & where it has lead me in recovery; potentially becoming a better person then I may have even been without the experiences & changes in my life as a whole. But it wasn't the things that I had gratitude for that made me so humble & sentimental tonight. When a young man shared his list of things to be recently grateful for it put all things once again in perspective.

Gratitude is something that keeps us in check, it reminds us how much better things are without drugs or alcohol in our lives because for those of us who are alcoholic or addicts that was once all we knew & lived for. When this young man got his turn to share, he spoke honest & innocently. "My mom & I are moving in 2 days & the new place isn't going to have electric in it for a few days while we are there. We don't have anywhere else to go & it's not like its forever its just a few days til the electric company comes out to turn it on. I am just happy to have a roof over my head today & not be staying outside like I had to do sometimes during my active addiction & I am happy that we are gonna eventually have electric, it could be worse & we could be homeless & sober or living outside & high." That bold & simple statement nearly brought tears to my eyes.

I remember sleeping outside, in vehicles, from family member to friend's couches & in horrible places just to stay dry, warm, or from going through withdrawl. This young man's gratitude list that he shared puts things all back into perspective for me again, which is what always happens the longer I stay in the fellowship & newcomers continue to arrive. The fact is that people will not suddenly developing alcoholism, the disease is not curable & they do not know what causes the phenominon in some. Some people can have one or two once or twice a month, year, or decade.. then there are us alcoholics who either cannot control ourselves or can't find a way to stop once we start. We make stupid mistakes & we have built in forgetters of where the drink/drug & our actions take us afterwards. Today I don't have to have that built in forgetter, I can have gratitude instead. If I remember daily & keep showing up to be involved in the fellowship, there will always be a newly recovering alcoholic to remind me of how it was.. and once I'm reminded & think back on my own past I am once again thoroughly convinced that sober & spiritual living is the only way for me to exist today. Thanks for blogging in.. Good Night.. Good Morning... <3 Jimmy