There Is No Spiritual Grades - Growing From Mistakes & Failures

May 11. As most nights I am getting on near midnight, just about Wednesday morning now. I am constantly reminded of how lucky I am to have this outlet to share with my friends & family, some of whom I barely know in person but know well in spirit. It's funny how when we get past the skin, bone & DNA that makes us individual people, how similar we all are in a spiritual sense. We share so many of the same struggles & victories when we look past the specific people, places & things that they are composed of. Its these similarities that gives a complete stranger in my life the ability to relate, share their own experience, & teach me how to survive any challenge without giving in to a drink or a drug, and even often without allowing alcoholic or diseased thinking to take prescidence in my mind. I went to my usual tuesday night meeting tonight, it was there that I saw my recently deceased friend's fiance. Her troubles & heartache, although not the same as my own, are something that I have experienced & if nothing else I can be there to listen when answers are not evident to either of us.

After our talk I left her with a big hug & urged her on to the company of close friends that have been helping her deal with the loss in her life. I admire her strength for continuing to follow the suggestions & the principles that make up Sober Living. Her ability to deal with this situation in a sober manner gives me hope that I may too accomplish the same when similar tests enter my life. If I pick up a drink or drug, I stop living & begin marching to an alergic, obsessed, and early diseased death, imprisonment, or confinement. I can learn many lesson's from my friend's strength & I continue to marvel at the way our fellowship guides her to the answers necessary to live on sober & sound.

After the meeting the rain & stormy conditions were terrible in my area, mirrors & windows fogged I backed into a friend's car bumper. The soft but noticable touching of our cars made me get out & check for damage. My car was fine & the corner of his bumper was dimpled in slightly. My old alcoholic ways would have said "there are no witnesses, lets leave", but a new & inspired man lives within me today. I stayed there for many moments & waited for the fellow to come outside, told him what happened & gave him my information to get it repaired. Doing the next right thing in life feels right, this is not the only instance in the past few months I have gotten to enjoy feeling good about a mistake I made. It seems almost impossible for someone to feel good about making a mistake, but its owning our mistakes & learning to do the right things about them that makes it so rewarding. I feel spiritually stronger having passed another minute test of my sober survival skills.

I'm not looking for a grade in Sobriety, no A+ or C- for a passing score. That is not the purpose of my devotion to spirituality. Its more so that I can take any of my failures & through the help & strength of others, learn how to find victory in each of them. If that requires me to change another aspect of my life, then so be it, change can be a blessing and I know so from reflecting on changes already in my life. The only failure possible for me today would be giving up on my journey for change & serenity.. doing so I would be willingly returning to my old addicted ways. Today through my higher power's grace I have the will for many great things, but have lost the will to allow alcoholism a rule over my life.

I have taken a personal vow to share & teach anything I know about spiritual life & sobriety, while understanding I don't know much so I must always remain the student to do so for anyone else. It is this dual role that I must humbly continue to take on if I am to pass the continuous tests that we call daily life. I could never have imagined the insight, the strength, nor the ability to try so many new things, it was others who have loaned their own to me that makes this possible. So I hope that today we all can be inspired not to make the grade, but continue to learn & grow so that each test we face in life can be survived soberly & spiritually. I hope that we can be inspired to learn new ways of surviving these tests & share them with others so that they can find what works for them. The world is a much brighter place when seen through clear eyes, perceived through a clear mind, and heard through clear ears. Good Night.. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy