Handling Ourselves Differently - Solutions

May 24. Hello everyone, I ended up having a pretty good weekend with no real complaints in the end. I actually had help Sunday which made my life so much easier & allowed me to focus on the purchasing part of my business. Looking back even at my business, never mind the rest of the growth in my life, I can see how I have come a long way.. I end up making a purchase or move for more merchandise on a daily basis. I never had the balance & discipline in my life to be able to handle any of this before sobriety. I realized that through the years of my addiction I had countless years in the business market, but it was a black market & has consequences & risks much greater then exist in the retail world. Aside from what was lacking back then, I could have never capitalized on any of the business experience I had acquired because of emotions & personality being nearly non-existant. There was also an unquenchable hunger for more & more physically addictive chemicals that cost more money then I could have ever been able to manage in those physical, mental & spiritual conditions. I can never give my Higher Power enough credit nor show enough gratitude for the miracle of change in my life. I have made so much out of nothing so far, that is nothing but the desire to stay sober & do the next right thing.

So I went out for a little while tonight, just to be out & try to get out of my head. Some plans fell through with a friend & it seemed everyone else was already busy or had early starts on Monday & needed rest. Its these types of times I get to really know myself. Just by taking a good look when I am not exactly in a position I want to be or with a person that brightens my spirits I can start to see if I am doing spiritually well or not. "How did I feel, What did I do while feelin that way? Did what I did change those emotions or thoughts. Was there something different I can try if I did not like the result or it was not helpful." These are all things I try & ask myself, because we all may know ourselves but we may not know how different things could be for us if we handled ourselves differently. Its exploring these things and doing whats the next best thing for us that defines good change. Sometimes I find myself picking something that feels good temporarily to occupy my time & end up the same as I started or in a worse spiritual condition. That temporary fix is an alcoholic action, almost like taking a drink or drug for that easy way out.

Its when I truly look at what will make me feel right long term, or do something healthy or constructive that will actually change how I am feeling not just cover it up for the duration of that momentary bliss. Some things like emotions or feelings are not so easy to find permanent solutions too. Despair, lonliness, heartache & the like sometimes are caused by something that has happened around us or is not happening in our life that we want to. The important part of solving these tricky issues, that many end up drinking over, is to realize that whatever we are feeling as a result of this is inside us. We cannot change the cause or simply create what's missing, instead we have to work spiritually on a way around it. At some points it comes down to the trust of your Higher Power delivering what you deeply seek & truly loving yourself despite what's happened or absent. That love is found through working the 12 Steps, forgiving yourself for any & all wrongs you've abandoned & keeping your side of the street clean in all your encounters. It's at that point I personally feel good inside despite a sensation of solitude or lonliness, stress or undecisiveness, and many other uneasy emotions below my surface. So the challenge is, Can We Handle Ourselves Differently & get new results in our life? It's all up to us individually to practice this spiritual tool. Good Night.. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy