A Responsibility To Help & Fulfill

July 30. Hey friends, Happy Friday to all of you. It's morning here in my neck of the woods & it was a long night for me. I thought I would write about something not so personal but that still applies to my sobriety & spirituality in general. First I do want to share how my Thursday went. I went to see one of the law enforcement agencies I have been going to for years now, a consequence of my past & addiction, I've been serving time. One day at a time it has passed & on my visit thursday morning my officer told me I would not have to come in any longer. I was going to be discharged on my official date that was set & he urged me to "shine on as one of their FEW success stories". That made me feel a little proud, to be called a success by someone who's job is to catch the flawed addict/alcoholic & criminal mind. It's a testament as to how far I have really come & a good reminder of why I never wish to go back to that life of chaos & entrapment. From there I visited a friend whom I am very close with, I got upset due to selfish reasons & issues in the past I was nervous about being repeated. Instead of causing a scene or showing my feelings I left, hoping it would pass as I went on with my day. Some of it passed, but some stayed fresh. In the end I had to have a talk with them via text message to explain why I left & what offended me so much. All I should share is this, they had not been concerned with respect for my needs as their close friend who is in recovery, not according to how close they say I am to them.

I spend the rest of the day doing little of significance, getting ready for my evening meeting like every thursday. When I got there we had a good meeting with an even better topic, but afterwards I was suprised. There was an argument during our business meeting about the group failing to provide a meeting last week, when others showed up & knew nothing of its cancellation or if it was relocated somewhere else that night. I was one of the people who knew nothing & had to go back home uninformed & with no meeting. The argument ended in someone storming out, angry & upset. I took a position on the subject before the argument broke out, which is my topic for tonight. As an alcoholic/addict in recovery, I accept the responsibility to help others in need. Not only that, but as a man who wishes to live along spiritual lines I must help others or I am not doing the works of the spirit. Helping others is a huge part of recovering from a spiritual disease & is the only way to stay well, anything short of that will lead to a sure slipping backward in my sobriety. I know this because I have experienced small bouts of it during selfish periods & because those who failed at this before me have shown me & explained what they did wrong, so that I don't have to make the same mistakes. Today I trust & believe that I must do this or I will not remain well. Because of that I simply do. But some don't feel that way...

I question the motivation of anyone that would interfere with one person helping another. To block or sabatoge this in any way, when there are sick & suffering people with spiritual diseases such as alcoholism or addiction, an act to prevent this is not one of the spirit. A group of people who assemble to help others should do just that, there should never be a publicly published listing that a group will be available to help & there not be there someone the place & time that there was supposed to be. I personally hold myself accountable to being somewhere when someone asks me for help & so do the 12 Step groups. There was an issue of many showing up to a meeting & no one being there, its happened to me many times & its not a good thing. Because of this, I will never join a group that does not hold themselves responsible, that at all costs there be a door open & a person at the location to offer help to another or at least direct them to where help can be found. I can do my part by not supporting groups that are irresponsible and promoting groups that are. Although I don't publicly support any groups at all on this blog, I do recommend privately to those who ask me for a place to go or join for good sobriety & spirituality. The thought of a newcomer expriencing what I did the few times I went to a meeting & there was nobody there is horrible. A person's first time, they get the bravery to get themselves help & seek out a group to help them & no one is there. It would be no suprise if they went out after finding no one, alone & lost, drunk crashing a car to die or overdosed in an alleyway. This is no game, I am responsible, not for all but for my part.

I was so rattled by the lack of presence where it was published that help would be available for persons seeking it, that I decided to write about it in this blog today. I ask any and all of you who will ever help another person in this lifetime, if you say you will be somewhere to help then be there. You could make the difference of someone finding a way out of one of the many horrors that exist out there, someone could be counting their last chance on you if you say you will help. Letting people down is a horrible character defect to bear, it stinks of low morals like those I had back in my active addiciton. No matter the cause, Help Others when you can. If you belong to a group that helps people, make sure they are committed to doing just that. If they drop the ball, the moral responsiblity shifts from them failing to support others as promised, to us supporting a group that lets people down that are in need. We cannot control everyone else who goes around leaving people hanging, helpless & searching for help, in need & asking any that will lend a hand.. but we can make sure we do not support anyone who does not follow through with their commitments to others. We can remove ourselves from these groups or we can take a stand & personally make sure it never happens again by getting involved with the responsible members if there are any. All I know is that I am grateful the first night I RAN to a meeting in fear I might die if I used drugs or drank one more time, that someone was there to open the door. I am grateful too that when a young man showed up to his first meeting & locations were switched, that I had the honors of waiting in the parking lot, telling him the meeting would be down the road instead.. To hold that responsibility is a privledge & a blessing, not something that is to be blown off or dismissed nor should it ever make it to argument. I am responsible when anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help. I want the hand of these fellowships to always be there & for that, I AM RESPONSIBLE. Good Night.. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy