"All That Glitters Isn't Gold -- Good Deeds"

Jan 14. Hey everyone and thanks for the ongoing interest. Today obviously was thursday, which in my world of sober functions is a very packed day.. always. It just so happens that my doctor likes to schedule visits on thursdays too, thank goodness it didn't have to be today because I had alot of alternative things to handle.

I started the morning out thinking about how productive I could make the time that wasn't dedicated to recovery today. I had two stops to squeeze in and a visit to make for business. My phone rang, a good friend who has respected my sobriety since day one called. He needed a ride to take some parts from his work he got to take home down to the scrap yard & offered me a cut in it if I could get him there. With yesterday's news of financial changes on my mind I had figured the few bucks could be useful if he was willing to hang out long enough for me to make my stops as well. We did just that, talking about olden days and the tragedies we called our lives. The funny thing is neither one of us could honestly admit we missed a single bit of it. That was so refreshing a concept to share, it glittered in my mind. He ended up sharing 20 bucks for the ride & buying me a coffee, not bad for going to the same side of town I had to visit anyway.

We ended up meeting my cousin at my jeweler friends to follow up with some business from the day before. We all enjoyed a leisurely chat while business was handled between them. The entire time my jeweler friend told the other two how highly he thought of me, he put me up on a social pedestal for nearly the whole half hour we were there. I mentioned briefly that I wanted to talk "our business" when he had time & he whispered when the other two were occupied 'come back after you drop your friend off, I have some taking care of you to do, my friend'. It seemed that once again something about today glittered brighter, my sobriety & drive in life was seemingly shining as bright as gold on black velvet.

I took my friend home & on the ride we talked some more. He told me how I was his closest friend. I never did anything special for him, a ride here or there, a set of ears to listen when he was down. I guess for some that is all it takes. Maybe unlike my other "old friends", who dissapeared after my sobriety, he actually respects the effort I have put into having a clean life with spiritual principles. That respect is worth its weight in gold. I've had girls refuse to date me because they feel guilt going to a bar & leaving me home on a saturday, friends refuse to associate because I won't ingest a substance, and other people avoid me for fear I would judge them. Truth is that there are a many great people out in the world that just don't understand that they don't need to be like me to be a part of my life. I am the alcoholic/addict that was trapped in the downward spiral. I never judge others for my actions in the past were probably far worse. I don't feel need to place blame for someone enjoying themselves who can safely drink, knows when to stop, not drive drunk, and can act respectful & return home safe at night. If they can do that they probably are not alcoholic, enjoy. I certainly couldn't. I isolated & kept away from others during addiction, I avoided people because of my own personal guilt. I never disowned a friend because they wouldn't do drugs with me.

Its easy to see that the dull & tarnished relationships were necessary to let go, they would never make a good outcome. Sobriety has helped me notice what 'glitters' and what doesn't. When I finally went back to that jeweler's tonight, I told him thanks for being such a great friend. I almost turned red for the fact that for so long I had not lived up to that good person he was talking about from the past. It had been years that he hadn't seen me until recently & of course I told him many stories about where my disease had taken me. He said quite frankly with a smile, "I don't really see how that could ever be you, are you sure we are talking about the same Jimmy?" With reassurance from me that we were indeed talking about me he finaled with a gesture of still disbelief and motioned to some bags of fine jewelery he had.

He had told me about remembering when I broke my back hauling bricks one at a time until a whole wall was down, loaded in a truck, and restacked at his home. Talking with him when his grandson was sick, keeping him company when he had no one else to talk to but he occasional customer. He reminded me of the good person I was before I became beyond sick with addiction. I do remember when I had a heart of gold and I had real friends. He reminded me of all the selfless things that a person could do, that I could do again for someone in need. After he spelled out all the good deeds I did before, that I couldn't do on my best day in addiction, he plopped the two bags of jewelry on the desk and said, "You know Jimmy, 'All That Glitters Isnt Gold'". I knew what he was talking about, I knew what I had to keep doing with my program & AA. A man in his position should be hesitant to help an addict of my caliber, but instead he was foregoing. In the bags was over $2200 in retail jewelery, brand new, tags still on many of the items. All solid silver w/ 24k gold inlays. He said, "Bring me back a hundred bucks & there will be more where that came from for you new business". Here's to good deeds. Here's implementing spiritual principles into all you affairs, to doing your best for others & taking care of yourself so others can enjoy your presence. My sobriety, frienships, relationship with my higher power, willingness to help others and kind deeds that was so generously given back by so many recently have proven to me that.. "ALL THAT GLITTERS ISNT GOLD"! "Are there times when we are not spiritually fit that we fall short as friends, partners, parents? Have we seen the rewards of selflessness, the give and take of real friendship, in our relationships with others? As many times we have been let down are there those that have come back to amaze us?" Thanks for letting me tell you about my amazing day. I really have some amazing people in my life today & I feel that its because I have chosen to learn what it takes to be a good friend, just as they have shown me ten fold in return. I truly want to pay it forward. The best way I know how is to continue to be sober, ask for help when I need it, and always do the next right thing. Until tomorrow, thanks for reading everyone.. Good Night. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy