Charging Your Spiritual Battery - Letting Go Of Negativity

Jan 21. Hello again all my wonderful readers. Sorry last night's blog was so long but I had alot of ground to cover in a one part post. I really appreciate the feedback through comments, IM's, and email. You are all such a great group of people to draw inspiration & strength from. Please don't be shy, anonymous comments are always welcome & we all have something that we could share to benefit one another. Speaking of sharing lets get into tonight's blog work.

It wasn't too long ago that I found myself stressing over the actions of other people. Not only that but I was worried about how they felt about me & was angry over the way things were going in certain relationships at the time. I felt like I was putting more into them than they were putting back into me. Like I was trying to "Charge Their Spiritual Battery" with mine, but wasn't getting any positive juice back. The result was a my low battery light coming on in the form of emotional & spiritual discontent. I had to come to that realization that I was completely powerless over other people. I also had to practice acceptance that things were the way they were because thats how they were meant to be. Now that weeks have passed & the distance in those relationships has grown farther. I still make the occasional attempt to keep in touch or leave that reminding message that I am still out there extending a hand if they ever reach back. I guess the difference now is experience of a few weeks gained by the continued practice of acceptance & other signs of powerlessness that have helped me grow a bit more.

I can almost say whole heartedly now that I was actually being foolish to offer so much attention, care, & commitment to the said persons in each case. They really never did return a quarter of the effort I had put in. My discontent at the time started a cycle of alcoholic efforts, aka going too far with even simple things. I can actually see how much more productive I have been without those negative and parasitic relationships dragging me down. I have accomplished more in the past two weeks than in the past two months in relation to improvements in social, financial, & spiritual life. I can actually feel gratitude for the absence of one sided relationships today. Since I began letting go of one specific person I have gained back so much time that was wasted chasing the 'feel good' presence that they provided at times. Its this formerly 'alcoholic/addict' time that the spiritual program I follow is teaching me how to manage differently.

Since getting these people out of the foreground others have stepped in to overshadow them. Granted these new (and some old) friends are not necessarily filling the same role that another did, but they are making their willingness to put back into a relationship known. Since the social & mental change I have accomplished several things I can name. In prior weeks these accomplishments would have taken my efforts away from the 'friendships', meaning there was a good chance that I would have sacrificed them for that feel good excursion with them instead. To name a few things that I gained by letting go.. My business has moved from a mild weekend market opportunity to a full blown jewelry business with thousands of dollars in inventory & great business partners & friends. I have had more nights to spend that extra half hour with my family or my sponsor rather then driving someone home or spending time & money to put a smile on someone's face who does not try to put one on mine. I have not been awakened by my phone going off at 3AM because I was ignored for the 8 hours my message to them was in their mailbox.

I guess my general message for tonight is this.. It is truly wonderful to have let go of the negativity. I really cared for some of the people in those relationships, and still do wish them spiritual, mental, and physical wellness. Without them however my direction is positive. Life for me these past two weeks has been care free and full of opportunity. I only was able to see it without the distractions. There are so many more things that I want to let go of that affect me adversely and in time with my support group (you all included) maybe I will achieve removing many of them from my life. I am not learning how to live a normal life, I see 'normal' people hang on to negative things till they are torn from their clutches. I strive today to build a foundation to instead live a spiritual life. One where the recognition of positive things and the removal of negative will propel me into the best condition I can be & that is helping others. I will continue to share my struggles, victories, and defeats with everyone who cares to listen because I can't do this alone. None of us can. Its a "we" world. Nothing great was accomplished without the contributions of another. Alone we produce selfish negative energy & exist only for ourselves & personal gain, together we produce positive energy & can exist for eachother's enpowerment. I choose to find the positive things to put my whole self into and when those things happen to be people I know that the 'feel good' won't just be for a moment, it will be for as long as I can continue on this earth. "Are there things, places, people in our lives that fill us with negativity? No matter how spiritually fit we are, Can we see the change in us when we stay close to that negative source? When we let go or distance ourselves from that source, what kind of positive things were within reach?" Thank you for your positive energy readers, your interest in my life & successful sobriety is a reflection of other positive things around you that make this all worth while. Recognize them & hold them dear, if you lose track of them you could spend your next 14 years like my last 14 years. For Now... Good Night. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy