Jan 11. Today was a bit different than the past few. I want to thank my higher power for giving me this blog to write in & good friends in as well as outside this blog's view. This morning I was beyond groggy. The weekend was long, working around 8+ hours each day for the new market business & still balancing meetings as well as social time after. I managed to make it through though and took advantage of the opportunity to rest a little bit. When I finally motivated I handled a few things online, cleaned myself up, and waited for my mom to get home so we could eat dinner.
I was excited at this point because the time was nearing to leave for a meeting. For me, this was no ordinary meeting tonight. We were starting a long awaited idea I had proposed to a retired professional in the drug/alcohol field. We had been announcing our new group at other meetings to prepare for its start over the course of the holidays but now it was finally here.. Monday Jan 11th 7PM. The group is named MARS, and like landing on a new planet, I get the opportunity to be there from the day it all began. Its called Mars for the long name, Medically Assisted Recovery Support Group.
The group was something that so many addicts and alcoholics needed that are sober with the help of a doctor or undergoing surgery etc. Straight alcoholics that got sober through a specific fellowship I attend have a bad attitude towards assisted recovery. Alot of that has to do with the fact they that have no idea about what other substances do to a person's cellular composition. In certain people that strayed further into things other than alcohol, the body changes and never repairs. Alcoholics who have drank themselves into liver damage can certainly relate to this because they end up on medication indefinitely without a transplant available. But those who didn't reach that point don't understand the drug user who did more than just take a couple here and there. As I once described before, I was the all day/night, need it to work/relax, celebrate/mourn, sick without it/not enough to enjoy, mentally-physically-habitually addicted person for far too long to get things started without help.
Some people take psychotropic medications to help with anxiety, skitz, and many other compulsive disorders. The examples listed are just to help us realize that in some cases, you can put down the cocaine, the bottle, or the dope, but we did so much damage that some of us can never be normal again without years of healing and assistance from medications. I support this when the medicine is administered by a doctor, and the person allows themselves to be honest and open to prove at any time that they are sticking to it as prescribed without using anything else. Various ways are used to prove just that, wether by drug testing for other substances or checking clinical levels of what a person is currently using to help them in their system.
I support this because there is a fact that only 15 percent of opiate addicts can stay sober without any help from a doctor, and this is only because those in that percentage did not use excessive amounts or for long peroids of time. People with depression, anxiety, and compulsive disorders often commit suicide or turn back to using other substances (self medicating) to be able to avoid those horrid attempts or thoughts. It makes me sick that certain self righteous people in recovery can sit and tell someone that they are NOT SOBER because they take medication for an incurable medical condition that they developed through past abuse of substances in their life. That is like literally saying, "You have heart disease, but you are not allowed to take any medication for it because your an alcoholic, if you take the medicine you just relapsed and threw away your recovery." Another example of how stupid it sounds to support their ridiculous statements, "I don't care if your going thru radiation treatment, have a broken leg, or got your arm chopped off by a car accident, if you take those pain killers the doctor has given you then your using drugs and thats a relapse."
It is my hopes that by bringing this to the light, that the world will one day support sobriety through the honest evaluation that if an addict is not getting high and is finally living a capable and normal life that even if by the miracles of modern medicine, that God be praised for such great changes in that person's life. To see someone working a 12 step program and developing the tools of survival in life without picking up a drug, chugging a bottle, or abusing another susbstance is a great thing. The 12 step spiritual program really DOES FIX a person's life that drug's and alcohol destroy. It puts investment back into those, like me, that were once spiritually bankrupt. It clears the mind and fills it with constructive tools for continuous sobriety and socially significant thoughts for the better of the lives of others. No person can be cured by a pill alone, but the miracle of medicine & the work of a higher power & spiritually through the program I have in my life today are all I need to say no to the demons that ruled my life in the past. My success is gauranteed so long as I strive to be that better person and follow the direction of those who succeeded before me with the help of the 12 steps and a higher power.
This isn't some video game that I can beat the final level on. There is no big fireworks ceremony at the end for graduation. It is something that changes as time goes on, but always remains a part of my life. Regaurdless of my success the disease lives on within me, and to keep it away I must grow bigger & change as it demands. As I share and teach others I must still remain the student, there is always one more day to learn how to survive until I run out of those days. I have entered a new transition in my Sobriety. I am running for an officer position in the new MARS group and taking on commitments for service work. I have vowed to be there to help others & myself each week as we meet. I am moving from the helpless addict that needed all he could get to make it, to offering others help and providing them with the tools I currently use. I am adapting to the truth, that by all means necessary I not pick up a drug or a drink, one day at a time, and to remain grateful for God in my life today. Years ago I had thought, 'who might want some of this good stuff i just put in my body, who has money to spend on it so I can get some for myself' and today I think 'who might want some of this good stuff in my LIFE, and who has TIME to put into this for themselves'. And its so reminding, rewarding, and reinforcing, that I get to help myself with each thought & effort. " Is there a time when we noticed a transition in our lives? Did we go from the student to the teacher? Was there times when the student taught us more about ourselves then we knew before? How did it feel to take pride in helping others, or how did it feel when others helped us? Feel free to answer any of these questions in the comments box, or just share an idea/feeling/thought with me, or maybe you just want to share your opninion on the topic or ask for help. Thanks for blogging in, you are my greatest achievement just for giving up time to hear my 'shares'. ... <3 Jimmy
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Again Jimmy, I'm proud of you and what you are accomplishing. It take a strong will to do what you do. And so many people will benefit from you and your knowledge. You are a great person, determined and focused, strong and apathetic, willful and forgiving. Sometimes, you need to forgive yourself for mistakes you have made in your life, either knowingly or unknowingly. Maybe it did affect another person in your life, as I have done repeatedly. They are called mistakes for a reason. Forgiveness is 50% the solution, the other 50% is learning to not repeat it, as I have been working at for years. Hindsight is always 20/20. Keep up the blog it has opened my eyes to a new understanding of where I've been and where I'm going. Thanx and much love.
ReplyDeleteJimmy,
ReplyDeleteYou are doing a wonderful job and I am so proud that you will be going for an officer position in your new group. As a parent I encounter the OLD SCHOOL WAY all the time. The modern mom in me does not believe that you need to beat your children into listening,, but that by patience and undersatnding, truth, love and guidance you can get the same results. As my daughter approaches teenage years I can no longer put my kid over my knee when she does wrong. I also had two amazing step kids that I helped to raise never once in 12 years laying a hand on them,. they are growing into kind caring adults. So if not hitting but talking goes against the OLD school ways and the kids turn out wonderful why can't newer modern developments in other aspects of our life work as well. There are so many old sayings that if you think about them, they teach lessons,. and I am so famous for quoting them to you so I will add another. You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time. So if you can please your self and it works for you who is to say that your methods are wrong. there are people who believe that to spare the rod spoils the child I beleive to spare the hug spoils the child. As we both know my daughter is a very kind, understanding, loving, self respecting person, who develops into a beautiful young women everyday and All I can say is I did it my way, So as you develop into the kind, sweet, loving man you are remember that you did it your way and it works.