Give What You Want - Selflessness

Jan 23. Hey friends. Today was incredibly long & I have just as long a day if not longer tomorrow. I thought instead of focusing on a specific topic tonight I might just give a run down of my & a few things that happened. Maybe reflect a little bit or elaborate on a few of the details or thoughts as I settle down here at home.

I started the morning off running 15 minutes late, which is normally not a big deal because I show up early, so late is.. on time? Anyway, a normal saturday is slower than sundays which means more quiet time to set up in the morning. It just so happens this is the one time that my partner slept through the alarm & was running over an hour late from his usualy start. With that kind of news & only three hours of sleep myself I knew that it was going to be a long morning, if not a whole day. The good thing was that I was up to the task. Normally I would be panic stricken or felt overwhelmed by having to setup & handle a two man job by myself. I took the news with stride instead & at a steady pace worked the displays into their normal places from the boxes & totes they are packed in.

Before I could even open the store or get a third of the way set up, another vendor showed up to look around. He is the kind that basically comes early to bug other vendors by rooting through their stuff before it is set up. He asked if I had anything new & instead of my normal wanting to push him away to get my work done before spending customers came in, I treated him with respect & showed him some of the new items for sale. One of those items was an antique 'little orphan annie' wind up watch. His eyes opened wide immediately & I actually felt myself becoming happy by seeing his face light up with his own joy. He asked how much & we struck a deal.

The point of that little exchange was to remind myself of how intraverted I was during addiction & even outside of it when I was not spiritually fit. This was a change of pace for me & the first opportunity for me to find joy through other's finding their own. My partner arrived & we pushed to set up & nearly beat the opening time for the market. I saw several friends during the course of the day. People that are not normally at the market, but because of word of mouth, online announcements, & my phone message people were starting to come out and see my 'little operation'. The commendations I got from people were refreshing & worth more than a paying customer at the moments they were recieved. It seems regaurdless of how quickly success comes, many people are interested and have confidence in my ability, presentation, and merchandise that I sell. It made me feel good for a change to be able to care what others thought of me without worrying if it was anything negative.

Before closing my partner asked if I could take him to Bloomsburg to meet a distributor at a card show. He explained how he wanted to do some purchasing there & how important it was to him. His vehicle was not fit for the trip and to be honest going the trip alone would have been a steep chore instead of a casual long ride. I knew what it meant to him, and for some reason I said yes without needing much convincing or ironing out the details. I just knew that if it made him happy & was something that was good for him or his end of the business that I would be happy to help. The end result was far more than happy, he was ecstatic about some of the cards & boxes he bought for resale & how much he would make. To see him like a young boy thumbing through some cards to find an autograph in the pack he opened was payment enough, although he did insist of paying for gas. I couldn't help but enjoy my day, on the way home I was thinking of how I didn't get a moment for myself.

The more I thought about it on the way to decide what meeting to attend, the more I realized how much time I really DID have for myself. Everyday that I get out of my 'self' and into other people I grow a little more spiritually. I understand a little more what my higher power has intented for me to do and enjoy in this world. That simple task that brings so much happiness my way is to help others, and make things enjoyable for them. With good and moral people this goal ends up leading me to places & other people that are enjoyable. When I end up going the extra mile for a 'bad' or immoral person I end up feeling the opposite, used, a waste, disgusted, powerless. It was nice to spend the day outside myself & the more that I am able to do it the better I get to become. Through practicing 'selflessness' I am learing how to be a better people pleaser, pleasing myself in the process when the result is happiness for them. I can only wonder how great it will be to one day have a family of my own to exercise selflessness & find joy in their comfort, love & happiness. "When we are overloaded or used to a person being a certain way do we sometimes find it hard to be of service to others? Does the rewards of people pleasing outdo the rewards of self gain in your relationship with your higher power? Is there a healthy balance between the two that you have, can, or wish to establish in your life? Where are opportunities in our life that we can begin to practice and test the spiritual warmth from selfless actions?" Thanks for coming to hear about my day. Please feel free to comment, answer any of the questions, talk about something I said, or just tell me about your day. I am so grateful for you blogging in today.. Until tomorrow.. Good Night. Good Morning... <3 Jimmy