Happy Not Healthy? -- Staying In The Solution

Jan 8. Hey readers thanks for stopping in. I had a friend stuck at my house for the night because of the snow that hit out my way so I was unable to get on here and update the blog yesterday. I was a little dissapointed that I had been an entertaining host to the point that I couldn't take an hour to do an update, but my new solution for this set-back is to no longer procrastinate my entries & to simply get them done in the afternoon when I have time, that way posting will only take seconds at night. If I happen to be inspired further during the day or something more major happens to write about I will simply do it over. Nothing a little harder work won't fix. :)

Have you ever been working towards something that requires discipline? Something that requires specific things to be done daily. Examples come to mind to help build the bigger picture of tonight's topic. Maybe a spicy food lover has developed an ulcer and has to change their diet severely to be healthy and allow it to heal. Another good one would be someone on a diet, counting calories. Maybe a fitness program that is focused for a certain area of the body. So in daily activity we have this goal for our health or well being that we do certain things, practice certain exercises (mental, physical, social, etc), and stick to the game plan.

My game plan happens to be lasting sobriety & sprititual (not religious) growth. I want to secure spiritual fitness that allows me confidence in all of life's challenges without having to pick up a drug or a drink to get through them. I want lasting sobriety without desire one day, in that I never see that high or drunk as an enjoyable treat or happy experience, as I once did, ever again. So for me there are certain exercises I must do daily. Meeting attendance, read a little, talk to my sponsor and another addict/alcoholic, pray, and for me work on my blog & share hope and the little experiences I have each day. I have things I ingest daily like a diet demands, instead of food it is sober conditioning, direction, & stories from people successful with long term/lasting sobriety. And the example with the person healing from an ulcer? I must refrain from using substances so that my mind and body can heal and support my human body to which my spirit is attached and further clear my mind that my spirit uses to survive this human experience we all call 'mortal life'.

So if the man with the ulcer eats that spicy food, his wound will never internally heal and he has no chance of the pain and chaos inside to clear up. If the girl with a strict fitness program to tighten her abs stops doing crunches and only works on leg exercises her six pack will never form. If that person stops counting calories, or splurges occasionally, the disciplined counting on other days goes to waste all for that pleasure from that three slices of cheesecake instead of one. Well for me if I stop doing certain things I fail at sobriety, even if I don't pick up a drug or drink I can be unsuccessful at bettering myself as a person for one day. Does that mean I can't have a day ever again without working so strictly on myself?? I am told no by my sponsor, that one day I will be able to maintain my program daily, instead of have to work it daily. Certain things will remain necessary, but not all that is required to maintain the spiritual health I desire once its reached.

Like the people who sometimes get tempted, distracted, or flat out don't care about their health or prior 'goals' they set.. I sometimes stray off the beaten path, even if its just in one area. In early sobriety that can be dangerous. If I do it once without talking about it, that could be dangerous, I could do it again. And Again.. that would add up after several times, and the affect would reverse. My spiritual ulcer could bleed again, my addiction's weight could stay the same or get heavier instead of lose pounds, and that sober desire six pack could become a flabby belly again. So I am going to be hard on myself. I need to stay in the solution today and everyday in EVERY aspect or I will not succeed. Yesterday I did not do a reading from the 12 step texts, I did not call another alcoholic, only spoke to my sponsor, I did not pray at night only in the morning, and I did not post the blog I had thought up. All because I had company over and was distracted, because it felt good to be the "treat" of an entertainer for a few hours. The truth was, that this friend is understading and supportive of my lasting sobriety. I could have taken any amount of time to do the things necessary and they wouldn't have minded, they probably would have read my reading to me & gotten involved. I chose to be Happy for a few moments & comprimise the healthy condition of my life, and possibly the rest of my life in a worst case scenario. So without a relapse I am fortunate to notice this flaw & have the opportunity to try a little harder. Happy Not Healthy? I need to remember to stay in the solution, work the program as it HAS worked for so many other's that offer their unselfish direction, as the texts & doctors have said. The miracle is working in my life, and I never want it to stop.. but God only helped me with this miracle when I helped my self.. I chose to stay with him and the solution. Thanks friends for blogging in. The question for today is, "If I cheat on something that is for myself, how do I expect to really get what I want? Have you ever been in a situation like this? Academics, Health, Work, Spiritually? And finally, Have I dissapointed you by not getting here in time to post the blog yesterday?" I truly appreciate today and how much I thought of not sharing with all of you last night, just knowing one set of eyes reads this for inspiration is enough guilt to make me admit it. Good Night & Good Morning!! <3 Jimmy