Jan 3. Hey friend's thanks for checking in. I spent the morning catching up on sleep & the evening catching up with people I care about. A later experience brought up tonight's topic. A brief rundown of my day should settle us right into the learning experience I had.
I slept in for quite a while & actually got a decent block near the morning with no bad dreams to wake me up, thank God! I woke up and chatted with mom & dad for a while, put away clothes & got dressed for the day. After they took off on an adventure I planned one myself. A friend from Rehab & the 12 step rooms called. We have gone on a couple dates in the past and I like alot about her. She asked me to come rescue her from bordeome because she went to visit the sober house she graduated from in the next town from my house and was not allowed to come visit. Her friend that took her dropped her off at McDonald's to wait while she went back 2 the house to visit the other girls. Of course I wanted to bail her out so I made my way to her and we visited for about an hour or so until her friend came back to get her. Upon going our seperate ways we parted with a hug, a suprise kiss, and the making of plans to meet back up later for the 12 step meeting & then some personal time to hang out. I stopped to see a good friend & his son after that and enjoyed playing a video game on VSmile with him. Upon leaving there the little guy gave me a big hug, and a pattern Suprise kiss... lol. Not quite the same but a suprise none the less. A final visit to my sister & niece before heading out to the meeting set the tone for a wonderful evening.
The meeting was a packed house and the topic was gratitude. I shared about my experience with the court about my driver's license and my gratitude for the outcome, accrediting the program & God for tilting the scales of justice. After the meeting I called my friend who didn't make it to the meeting to see what was up with our plans. She said they couldn't make it there and when I was done meeting up with my friend Tom to call her back and she'll be ready for pick up. Expecting that to be the case I went out for a little over an hour with Tom. Upon finishing I texted multiple times & called, but she did not reply. The 45 minute drive home after that made it a full hour of her not getting back to me, the whole time I know that her & a female friend were going to some guys' apartment so her friend can hang with her boyfriend & he has roommates. Then when I express my discontent for her ingoring me I finally get a message back, acting like "whats the big deal, i was charging my phone & hanging with my chick friend cuz her plans fell through, so we went to my house i can't hang out with you tonight." I had thought a call or text to cancel plans should be appropriate here, afterall thats what friend's do to save eachother's sanity and curiosity when they are expecting something. So onto the point, cuz at this particular moment I was feeling upset, lied to, unimportant, and blown off.
What I realized after a phone text attempt of back and forth justifications for opposite feelings on the matter was this.. It was not too long ago that I myself was unreliable, dishonest (even if it was by omission of the truth), belittling, and prone to blow people off time & again. It was only through the desire to improve, good coaching from peer's & a sponsor, and working a 12 step program drug/alcohol free that I was able to begin to change those things. If no one was patient & understanding of me during the starting phases of those changes, then I may never have developed better ideals. It was also something I had to practice getting better at. Things like remembering to call people back, going out of my way to make sure someone knew they were great or doing a good job, keeping commitments even if i had to mark it on a calander or use an electronic reminder... I had to practice these things to get better at them. And they improved little by little, and still improve the more I try at them. Also being honest and not leaving things out because I am afraid of how someone may feel or of consequence. That was something I had to learn slowly, and eventually realized that more relationships and events work out in my favor when I practice the principle of honesty because there is nothing to come back and bite me in the ass. Is there something that you have done in the past, or mistakes/things you said, that you no longer do.. and you find yourself not being patient & understanding of times when you were that way?? How would we have survived or felt if there was not people tolerant, patient or understanding in our lives at the time?? What were your results?? Please share anything about this topic that you may have had experience with, or if you want to comment about something I said or did in this post please feel free. Thanks for blogging in, and until tomorrow..Good Morning & Good Night <3 Jimmy
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as the old saying goes Patience is a virtue, Not one that is easy obtained but a virtue in itself. A wise man that we both know very well once told me that sometimes things don't happen for a reason and at the time there is probably a very good reason and that having the paitence to wait adn see why these things have occured is the virtue you obtain, it is not easy to have paitence all of the time but it is something that with practice we can have most of the time. I to have had to learn the art of paitnce and being a parent makes that something you master more and more, i know that you asked for things in our life that we have done in the past that we no longer do and I would have to say that is a loaded question. we all have habits that we dont like about ourselves and we can try to change but habits are hard to break, As you said it takes paitence and practice, not only form you but from the people that are directly involved in our lives. PAtience from them to understand that we are human after all adn another old saying to err is human,
ReplyDeleteyes to error is to be human you need a computer to really f*$k things up :-). As a buddhist i have been taught to do unto others as you would have them do unto you because karma is a world righting event. To also put others before myself no matter what the cost and i have always tried to do this but i find myself loosing paitients with ignorant, unthoughful, and uncaring people. THERE ARE MOR OF THEM THAN I WANT TO THINK IT MAKES ME WONDER IF THEY CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE BESIDES THEMSELVES. Sorry but this is something i have an issue with i just expect everyone to be caring of others and think about others like i do so in this instance i need to learn paitience and understanding that no matter how much i want it that will not change if that is the way they are it is what it is and the world will right it i dont have to ...Again thank you for blogging this is a wonderful thing im sure you will help manyothers by doing this good night.
ReplyDeleteI have always tried to express patience with those around me and in situations. Normally I do well. I know that I could always use some more when dealing with a certain person from my past. I always feel like I am on defense and I have something to prove and in reality all I want is a thanks. A good hey thanks for stepping up and doing the job I couldn't do for 11 years. But that will never happen. I always try to go by the old addage "do unto others as you would have done to you" and I get ashamed of my actions but I think other emotions have come in and well whatever.
ReplyDeleteKeep doing what you ae doing I love to read what you write, I am glad to see what you are doing with yourself. Shortly after we graduated I always wondered where your path took you I am glad you are on the healthiest one for you. Stay strong.
Thank you for all the feedback and the comments. The bhuddist concepts amaze me in how balanced and well they work with spiritual human beings. If we all could only be that way. I appreciate so many things in my life currently, but the joining of others into the topics that appear in my life is truly near the top of it all. Thanks for the comments and I hope you enjoy the next blog as much. <3 Jimmy
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