New Year 2010: The Year of the Vampire?

Welcome everyone! Thank you all who are interested and all who have supported/encouraged me to start this blog. I guess before I get into the title topic and start 'blogging' I should let you all know what to expect. I plan to write about thoughts, events, feelings, and knowledge from my past and current life. I attempt to inspire change for the better to readers by showing the diversity between what I used to have to live like & feel compared to now. Having gotten sober almost six months ago and having the benefit of a spiritual (not religious) 12 step program as well as friends & professionals, I hope at best that it is midly entertaining for you to read the messages I put to print here. So get a laugh, smile, tear or whatever you get out of this.. and please tell a friend. Thank you for blogging in and come back!! <3 Jim.

Jan 1. - The Year of the Vampire?

Last night I spent New Years sober, which is a highly unusual event compared to the past 14 years of my life. I can remember one other New Years sober that I spent because of a 'legal' matter that required me to. It was fun, but not the type of fun I wanted to have with my life back then. I remember last year in complete detail too. I was living with my sister and my dealer was out of town since Christmas. My stockpile of opiates & dope was dwindled down to nothing the morning of New Years eve and I was starting to get sick. Like any good alcoholic/addict would do, I left my sister's 'get together' to drive through the snow in search of some weed to calm my nerves. I don't know why it didn't hit me back then that being sick from withdrawl for the 'XYZ123' time was getting old, but God had a point to prove I guess. I got that weed and made it back just around the time the ball dropped. It didn't even touch the fever & shot nerves that were setting in after smoking a bomber outside. With that in mind I drank til I didn't feel and passed out. When I woke up in the morning I remember not even thinking about the New Year and what it could bring. My one track mind was shot and all I could do was lay in bed and dial the phone. I called my dealer 25 times before he finally picked up and yelled "LOOK! I'll be back around 7 tonight." So there it was, I got my way again and the "shit" would be back in town soon enough. Just a few more hours of 'sick' and I was good to go. That was last New Years, what a year. I say that because its the year that finally brought change half way through. The story of events leading up to me hitting bottom and having enough can be told another time, this is the Year of the Vampire. Its obvious to see how years of chemical addiction and a specific chemical "Sucked The Life Right Out of Me". Another year of giving my life, energy, and will over to the devilish and bloodsucking addiction Vampire.

This New Years has been so much different.. and thank GOD! Through all the help I have recieved & the program I work daily in my life here is how this holiday went down.. Spent the morning actually in conversation with my mom & dad. Not only that, we went out to dinner for chinese and enjoyed ourselves. I didn't even see them in years past on New Years. It wasn't a family holiday and I had drugs to be doing or beer to be drinking. After having a great dinner and walking away smiling with a clear mind and clear eyes I went out to kill some time & have a coffee. There was a marathon meeting for the 12 step program I attend so I stopped by their at 8 o'clock and finally after staying quite a while ended up at my best friend Tommy's house for a SOBER PARTY. We goofed around on a video game for a little while, shot off some rounds to make noise when the ball dropped and I finally went home between 1 and 2am through the snow storm. I got to spend the night with people that love & help me improve my life on a daily basis. Instead of waiting for the one person that only cared about my money and was never there when I needed him, I spent the holiday with several people who have never left my side no matter how sick I was or how far I ran so they could not see it happening. The New Year truly is a gift from God and it is the year that I get to "Suck the Life back Into my Body"... Its the year of the Vampire, and I am the one doing the drinking this time.. but not alcohol.. God's Nectar... A productive, SOBER, & grateful life spent in the service of others and warmth of the love from friends and family. Happy New Years Day Everyone!!! May the light of the spirit shine on you all.... <3 Jim