"Gratitude Is The Attitude"

Jan 26. Hello everyone. Today was a normal day for the most part, but filled with a certain feeling that is hard to describe. I started off to an early rise at 6AM to see my parents off to NYC for a doctor's appointment. I left shortly after to start my morning early & get a jump on my day so later I could relax & enjoy the afternoon.

When I got back home from my morning errands I couldn't help but feel blessed. Another day sober, quite the blessing after the 14 years of hell I endured with no visible solution. I have two great people in my life for a mother & father, the thought of them staying on top of their health gives me hope that there will be many more years of us experiencing eachother. Without Sobriety in my life today this time together would be spent apart instead. Even if I lived in the same house as them during active addiction I was so far gone in many ways that being in the same room as them I still felt alone. Today I am full of gratitude that I can feel their presence of love when I sit amongst them & even when they are as far away as NYC. We can actually communicate, share honest feelings, and I no longer have to live in secrecy or shame for being who I am, who I was, or who I intend to be.

The feeling was relaxing and being inspired I decided to upload pictures of my Sobriety Coins to my various online accounts, including this blog. I just felt like sharing them with others because like a trophy for sports, medals of war, and ribbons in contests, they show achievement & victory in my cause. Having shared them I felt that gratitude once again, for all the people that helped me get there. Different persons, meetings, and things have contributed to each of those milestones and will never be forgotten. Along with my higher power there is no material thing that I could wish for above the influences of Spiritual Progress.

I found myself losing that "Attitude of Gratitude" when I saw an advertisement from my cell phone provider. I had spent months researching phone compatibility & different options for getting what I wanted out of a phone without changing companies or paying more. It seemed I had to settle for only part of what I wanted instead of what I could actually use best because no phone was out yet to do what I needed. Wouldn't you know it, less than 30 days after Christmas the phone & service I wanted so badly is now available through my carrier. At first all I could feel was frustration & dissapointment that I now wanted something material more than the phone my parents got me for the holiday. Over something as simple as a selfish desire I had lost track of the gratitude I felt earlier in the day, THIS is how tricky the disease of alcoholism/addiction and spiritual depletion is. It gets us with the simple things, things that make us happy suddenly making us irritable or discontent. I decided I had enough & late into the afternoon had a little free time, so I took a nap to cool off about it.

When I woke up the phone was the farthest thing from my mind. There was a celebration meeting for 3 people in the program I work whom I happen to know pretty well. One is actually the older sister of a High School friend, so I felt not only driven but a social significance in going. Turns out the speakers there & the celebrants 'reception' speeches for their coins were just the thing I needed to hear. The gratitude from earlier in the day had not only returned, but had been added to. So in time with a few sacrifices I will get that phone, that is if I keep focus on how good things will come my way. That focus is on maintaining my Sobriety & growing spiritually. To keep working on the program & gain progress rather then get absorbed in material, selfish, or unworldly things. If I only maintain that "Attitude of Gratitude" surely things will come my way far beyond my desires, maybe into my dreams come true. I have faith that it works if I chose to work it. Help comes when I help myself. And hard work always pays off. "Has there been those moments that make us appreciate all that people & things do for us to make our lives great? Do we show gratitude often enough towards those people? When something takes that gratitude away, even if for only a moment, how or what has helped us get it back?" Thanks for reading friends. Your support as always is vital to my constant dedication to this project. If nothing else, in years to come I will have a wonderful Archive of growth & understanding to reflect on should dark minutes turn into hours of spritual need. Until next time... Good Night, Good Morning... <3 Jimmy