I Wasn't Raised To Discriminate - The Disease Wasn't Either

Jan 30. Hey guys & girls. Its the weekend officially & that means while alot of people are taking it easy I am working hard at my business. I spent the whole day from 7:30AM to 4PM at the shop in the market & it suprisingly did not drag on for the little amount of sleep I had gotten. There was no business, at least not in the jewelry world. I made one sale which covered lunch & rent, but thats fine by me. Like continuous sobriety, continuous presence at the market will eventually pay off I am sure of it. I got so much progress done due to the slow day that I actually priced each piece of jewelry individually before the close of business. That really helps in case I am busy with something, a customer can know see what they need to know without having to ask. If only that were true with sobriety though.

Unlike other things that have instructions, prices, or definitive time.. Sobriety was one of those life things that could not just be spelled out in black & white. Most alcoholics & addicts have been existing a certain way for so long that we can't do it right without someone showing us, and that someone has to be in recovery themselves or we won't be able to relate or listen to what vital knowledge they have. Another thing about the cunning, baffling, & powerful Disease is that it does not Discriminate. Unlike the way I was brought up in chosing 'friends', alcoholism & addiction does not pick and chose from a specific pool or 'classification' of people. Being a disease of spirit, mind, & body it has the ability to affect anyone that is breathing & with ability. In years past people tried to attempt to say that poverty stricken people were more likely to be alcoholic or addicts. That was proven to be false, wealthy people just had the money to keep their Disease a secret. They tried to say people living in cities were more likely to become addicts than people in rural communities. When organic drugs were discovered & a good recipie for wine or apple jack was passed on, the country folk got their drink & smoke on just as often as those who did not.

Some said that those of strong faith in a religion of moral & consequencial duties to abstain would keep people from falling victim to the disease, little did they know that other addictions than substances could lead right to them. Alcoholism is passed on from generation to generation scientists believe, but even in families without a history of it somehow it pops up. Truth is that NO stereotype, classification, ethnicity, belief system, or hereditary inheritence can say wether or not the disease will occur in a person's lifetime. Only by abstenence could a person gaurantee that they would not develop the physical phenominon of the disease, but the mental or spiritual defects that compose an alcoholic or addict can even exist in those persons. IT DOES NOT DESCRIMINATE. I was raised of a moral religion, by two loving & unseperated parents, with two older siblings not afflicted with the disease or at least not to a detectable level, and had a great childhood filled with activity & involvement. My exposure to drugs was due to my own curiosity & I was NEVER peer pressured into alcohol or drugs at any time in my life. I was an always have been a sort of leader in my friend groups & an independant when surrounded by beliefs that did not match my own. I never felt I had to fit in, I lived in the country where less drugs were in circulation.

With all of this going for me, HOW did I end up with the Disease of Alcoholism/Addiction? The answer is irrelivant and probably only known by my higher power. I do know this though, the solution today was not an easy one to find or any easy transition. I have had countless people tell me that they could not believe I am alcoholic. I've heard the "No not Jimmy" comment a thousand times. Before the solution, I had no answer to the questions of why I had to keep my addiction going or why I could not just stop. Today I know that untreated my disease will continue to grow, not just exist. That includes even if I do not feed it substances for a while & do not work a spiritual program such as the 12 steps. The same way that the phenominon occurs by the disease developing in all walks of life, the solution can relieve a sick & suffering alcoholic/addict without a know "reason" for it happening. I know why it works for me, but that is just for me.

Some people credit it to the change, support, & spiritual tools that enter a persons life that they didn't have before. That is surely part of it for me, but there is more. I COULD NOT STOP, yet today I have. Not on my own, but by my higher power & a program that works on me.. the alcoholic. So when you wonder why a person close to you is destroying themselves, their opportunity, their spirituality, & their life.. don't wonder, just know. KNOW IT DOES NOT DESCRIMINATE & it is not a choice. I lost the power of choice to use substances at age 15, three years after my voluntary experimentation with chemicals began. From that point on, until I found the solution to a real medically cerified DISEASE that crept into my life unvoluntarily I had no power of choice over using or drinking. It is only through spiritual growth, change & a higher power I believe in called God, that today I have to battle against this undiscriminatory, cunning, baffling, & powerful Disease that almost took my life & hearts of those close to me. Thank you to all who selflessly carried the message that there is a solution, who showed me the way, and all who loved & helped me along the way. Your ability to not descriminate against me for being sick was stronger than the diseases choice to pick me without discrimination itself. "We all discriminate somehow, cats over dogs, ford over chevy, a higher power over none. Can we picture the power behind something that doesn't discriminate? If we can, then we can see the power behind the disease & how much of a miracle it is to overcome. Are we willing to be beings of power and learn not to discriminate so much in our own lives?" Thanks for blogging in. You are still and always my inspiration to carry my hope, strength, and experience to others who will listen. May we grow together.. Good Night. Good Morning.. <3 Jimmy